SAT Breakdown

For students who are planning to take the SAT starting spring 2016, we have great news: The College Board just announced great changes to the structure and format of the infamous exams. For those who read the news and still don’t understand what it exactly means, here is a breakdown of some of the most important changes:

No more guessing penalty: Under the old system, every multiple-choice question you got wrong meant a quarter of a point subtracted from your overall score. Now, future test-takers don’t have to feel that sort of pressure.  No longer will playing “eeny, meeny, miny, moe” between two possible answers feel like a life-or-death situation. Only have a few of minutes left and a bunch of questions unanswered? Feel free to fill in those pesky bubbles. Go wild.

Vociferous vocabulary: The SAT is known for its use of somewhat outrageous vocabulary words in its Critical Reading section. Now, you don’t have to know or even care for the definition of the word “raconteur” or “sagacious”. Instead they plan to focus on words you would actually use in college. I expect the most popular words would be “thesis,” “freshman fifteen” and “problem set.”

Optional Essay: You will no longer be forced to write a somewhat coherent essay in twenty five minutes about a topic you probably know nothing about. Some colleges may still require you to take it, but the good news is that you get to read someone else’s text and critique their style.  If you don’t need to write an essay, you won’t have to waste time scribbling illegible words as fast as you can.

Mind-numbing Math: With the new changes, the math section would have topics focusing on things like linear equations, proportional reasoning and complex equations.  What that means is that you don’t have to remember concepts from geometry that you learned in the tenth grade. You don’t have to remember how to calculate the volume of a sphere or terms like the “orthocenter.”

For those lucky individuals who get to take this revised exam, please feel sorry for those students who came before you. We can’t even sell our old SAT prep books to you anymore.