ALMOST A SUICIDE.

ALL alone in a high-studded chamber,

A pale, sad student sat,

While the winds of a bleak November

Came moaning o'er the flat.

And he thought, as he quaffed the crystal,

How when Freshman - a hopeful child -

(Here he snatched up a pocket-pistol,

Then he pointed it grimly and - smiled), -

How at first 't was his modest ambition

To get ninety per cent, or yet more;

And his next, to escape a condition;

Then - to number the Chapel front-door.

He remembered the words of a croaker,

Who had groaned in his Sophomore year,

'Mid the charms of the blind goddess POKER,

At his suppers of excellent cheer.

Blooming now as a Junior swell heavy,

He found that his purse was a sec;

Not a dime was he able to Levy,

And the tailors all laughed at his check.

So his thoughts became deeper and darker,

As he sat there in sackcloth and ash;

For his friends were all dining chez Parker, -

Alas! he lacked the requisite cash.

He arose, and despairingly wandered

Out into the black stormy night,

And his footsteps approached, as he pondered,

To the waters that seemed to invite.

There he looked on the future before him,

On the stream with a chill and shiver,

And a feeling of faintness stole o'er him

At the odor which steamed from the river.*

"Alas!" he sighed, "life's but a labor;

"As for friendship, it is simply a myth;

"And I'll do one good deed - to my neighbor -

"By arising and sloping forthwith."

To his bosom he clasped his loved locket,

And his Ulster he lay on the ground.

"Why - by Pluto - what's this in the pocket?"

'T is an X I 've forgotten and found!"

* * * * *

No cold corpse was discovered, all weedy,

Imbedded in coal-tar and clay

But a man that seemed tired and seedy

Came out on the horse-car - next day.

F. T. S.

*"Possibly Miller's" - GEOGRAPHICAL EDITOR.

-"I. A. M." - ED. (who was there).