The most conscientious among the members of the Faculty have long deplored the various styles of clothing worn by students. Many professors claim that they are too much confused by the diversity of costumes to be able to do full justice to the lectures. And indeed their aesthetic eye is only too apt to be offended. Here is a man with a high collar; there, another with a low; then there are students with square cuffs, and round cuffs, and no cuffs at all. One persists in parting his hair on the side; another, in parting it in the middle. Indeed, it is impossible for any unanimity to exist as long as such barbarous customs prevail.
The remedy, we are happy to say, is at hand. "The Harvard Clothing Store" will relieve future professors from all confusion. It is intended that every student shall have the privilege of clothing himself there, but no student is to be compelled to do so; only, any one who does not wear the college costume will not be regarded as a student. The regulation coat consists of red serge, cut in long-tailed frock pattern, and having on the back, in large gold lines, the inevitable shield of the University, with "In Vino Veritas" plainly stamped thereupon. The waistcoat is of white flannel, buttoning behind, without watch-pockets. A narrow yellow braid will run around the collar, - yellow being emblematical of humility.
The trousers - after much dispute - are to be of blue cashmere, without bias, to recall the unprejudiced nature of the marking system. The blending of the red, white, and blue colors is intended to be a delicate tribute to our country, and to inculcate a deep patriotism in the heart of the wearer.
The man's class must be distinctly stamped on his shoes, which are to be of some light kind of leather. The janitor of each building, if he is requested in a pleasant tone of voice, may clean these shoes, but not oftener than once a week, for the sum of twenty-five cents.
Monitors and professors are to use the bell-punch. Each student, at the beginning of the year, will be provided with prayer slips and recitation slips, which will be duly punched, and must be shown to every one who demands it.
Moreover, the following regulations have been voted:-
1. No Freshman shall wear any kind of facial hirsute appendage, under penalty of suspension.
2. All Sophomores shall be required to wear a mustache. Any who shall be unable to comply with this rule shall be dropped.
3. Juniors shall, in addition, wear side whiskers, at least two inches in length. They will be measured twice a year, free of charge, by the college authorities.
4. Seniors, besides the above requisitions, shall wear a beard. No especial color is required by law, but the Faculty are inclined to prefer a neutral tint.
In this way it is hoped that everybody will be satisfied. I forgot to state that the price of the regulation suits is fixed at sixty dollars for the largest, fifty-five for the next, and so on. It has been suggested that a tall man who wishes to economize can do so by wearing the smallest suit.