HUMOROUS ADDRESS IN UNION
Given by Mr. J.K. Bangs Last Evening on "Salubrities I Have Met."
Mr. John Kendrick Bangs last night delivered a humorous lecture on "Salubrities I Have Met," before a large and enthusiastic audience that filled the Living Room of the Union and that was kept in a state of continuous laughter.
Mr. Bangs began by explaining the meaning of his subject. He said that a short time ago he came to a Western town to deliver a lecture, and found on arriving that he had already been introduced in the shape of a photograph; who sat for it he did not know. A copy of it was in an apothecary's shop and under it the inscription, "Danderine did this and we can prove it." He was much surprised to see in the paper that he was going to speak that evening on "Salubrities I Have Met," since he had written that he would speak on "Celebrities I Have Met." Mr. Bangs continued his definition by saying that a salubrity is a man who either is or is not a celebrity.
He said that among the many salubrities he had met, Mr. Ade was one of the best. Mr. Ade, just before starting for Egypt to look for some new American jokes, attended a dinner in honor of a certain Mr. Biff Hall, lately elected alderman, and was assigned to a seat beside him. At the close of the dinner a great loving-cup was passed around, each man giving an appropriate toast. When it got to Mr. Ade he rose and said "Hall, pull, graft, alderman."
Mr. Bangs said that he once was fortunate enough to be at a banquet in honor of Mr. Andrew Carnegie. When his turn came to speak, feeling particularly impudent, he asked Mr. Carnegie, why, if he wished to do something really worth while for American literature, he did not carefully seek out the six worst authors in America, and pay them a salary to refrain absolutely from writing. "That is an excellent idea," replied Mr. Carnegie, "what is your address?"
The best salubrity in the world, probably the best that has ever lived, has just left the country in order to impart some of his salubriousness to the Darkest Africans. The true salubrity is one who joys in life, in associations with his fellow-beings, and loves to be a good fellow among good fellows.