Straight Dope for Sport Fans

At its last meeting in the bomb-proof cellar of the Lampoon's feudal castle the Interpaper Pastimes Association approved Friday, June 3, as a beautiful day for the annual base-running best of the Arterial Blooders with the bowlegged Barons of Bow Street Bend. The Arterial Artists are expected to drive the Lords of Mirth from the lists, and heralds will bawl the decisions of the judges to the fractious faus roaring around the flowing flagons of fragrant nut-brown ale.