There is a CRIMSON candidate whom I want to have fired. In fact, I insist upon it. Is not greatness to be recognized and treated with respect? Is not the man who is rightly called the Father of CRIMSON circulation to meet with deference from CRIMSON underlings? I will tell you, my sympathetic public, my grievance, and leave it to you to judge. I telephoned the CRIMSON office yesterday and in my usual dignified, albeit friendly tones called for the Managing Editor. Naturally I did not propose to talk business with anyone less. But it was a candidate who answered, and he reported the uncertain whereabouts of his superior. As always, a democrat (Note to type-setter: lower case "d" on that. I shouldn't want my influence tossed on the scales against that of our calm, cool, conservative Calvin Coolidge in a crucial hour of the campaign), I engaged in converse with the underling at the other end of the wire and told him modestly who I was.
Joe Cites Dartmouth Case.
"Oh, hello, Joe," he said. And I didn't mind him calling me Joe. I have become used to that quick familiarity that one must accept hand in hand with greatness. But he continued, and I didn't just like his tone, "Are you going to make a comeback this week, Joe?"
Imagine that! I who have bought new shoes for all the little Forecasts out of my winnings on the Dartmouth game! I who, alone of the so-called experts, not only forecasted the winner of that fray correctly, but even broadcasted to my public the exact number of touchdowns it would take Dartmouth to beat us! And here was a CRIMSON candidate seeming to minimize my powers. But I answered him none the less with quiet courtesy, saying, "I have already made one."
"Is that so?" he came back, just as though he were addressing an ordinary person.
And here I made my coup, a typical bit of Forecast strategy. I just repeated, "Yes, that's so," and hung up the receiver. You can imagine just how thoroughly the wind was taken out of his sails. But I don't propose to rest on my last week's laurels, although I must modestly admit that there are enough to rest on. Most of the major Forecast errors of the past two years have been made in regard to Yale. There is something unpsychic, if that is what I mean, about the Elis. They always do what is least expected, even when on Harvard's one-yard line. So, wizard though I do not mind being called, I am a bit worried about this Yale-Army business. I'm going to dope it a tie--at any rate I can only be half wrong.
All right, stir well before using:
Yale 14, Army 14.
Dartmouth 16, Brown 13.
Pennsylvania 20, Illinois 7.
Michigan 28, Navy 13.
Princeton 27, Swarthmore 7.
Boston College 20, W. Va. Wesleyan 4