DUSKY DORMITORY DWELLERS PROTEST AT SOOT BARRAGE
Owing to a filthy fog of soft coal smoke that descends inches deep upon Westmorly Hall early in the morning and rests there during the day, an emphatic protest has been registered by the dormitory inmates with the Cambridge Department of Public Safety.
An inspector appeared several days ago, according to J. F. Brady, janitor of the dormitory, and examined the clouded corridors, the mauve bed-spreads, and the soot-stained porticos of the dormitory. His attitude was non-committal but he ventured the statement before leaving that ordinances against soft-coal smoke had been seldom enforced since the recurrent coal strikes of the past few winters. He has not been seen since.
The cause for the coal fumes is a one foot chimney on the adjacent Harvard Garage, cunningly placed so that Westmorly's inhabitants are converted into synthetic brunettes before starting for their 9 o'clock classes.