THE PLAY'S THE THING

Late comers are double warned that though the ourtain rises at two-thirty, they will not be delayed in the lobby, but led, or rather driven to their seats. They will miss the short overture during which the orchestra will tune up, and the chorus make their last steps. They may also miss the introduction of the principals, who will gamble for the chance of kicking off. Artists rejoice to die, especially for a crowd. The feature this afternoon will be one of the best drilled male choruses in the country. It is the greatest assembly of stars ever perpetrated without a revival. This is so much the feature that the feminine gender has been totally neglected. Anyone who hopes for tiller of Hoffman girls will have to take them, not a bad idea. Even if it seems extravagant to take them, ask them anyhow, as they probably have a conflicting matinee.

The audience is expected to be enormous, in spite of a stiff tariff. As in all audiences part can be expected to appreciate the play, and applaud opportunely, while the rest will be good Romans. During the intermission there will be a feature act in mule-driving. This weeks drama promises to be one of the best early season wows, leading up to the final bow-wow. You will know the play in over when the whistle blows and the actors drop their work. Push, do not walk, to the nearest exit.