THE CRIME

This problem of French 2 books has us worn to a frazzle. Razor blades we do not mind. "Ruy Bias" will neither rust nor sit on a windowsill indefinitely. Several years ago, while the Graduate Establishment of Business Administration was being built across the Charles, two undergraduates, having passed French 2, and mellowed by their celebrations, solved the problem. The Morgan Business Library was still a mess of foundations and holes, Feeling that a library of any sort should be built not only of bricks, mortar, gilt domes, but also of books, they did their part. Contractors arriving on the job the next morning found piled in the corner of the future basement of the Morgan Library, beside a steam shovel, a collection of the eight little blue textbooks.

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Professor Kirtley Mather has solved the problem of showing Mother Earth's growing pains to his students in vivid lecture room demonstrations. With only the 273 men in Geology 1 (formerly good old Geology 4 and 5) as his materials, he has created a successful and extremely spontaneous earthquake. Yesterday's lecture was the first at which seats for the course were assigned, and everyone promptly found their proper seats in the proper sections, guided by the directions chalked on the blackboard, LEFT--CENTRE--RIGHT. While Dr. Mather was chatting with his assistants before opening the mysteries of Geol. 1 Lecture 3 some wit authoritatively approached the blackboard, and changed the writing on the wall to RIGHT CENTRE LEFT. The first tremors of the quake were now felt. A hundred or more leftist students, eager for Change, girded their loins and marched through the CENTRE RIGHT. Simultaneously the stalwart reactionaries of the RIGHT goose stepped over to the LEFT side. The resulting scrimmage around CENTRE gave the delicate seismograph upstairs a bad case of jitters, and fear was felt for Costa Rica or somewhere.

Professor Mather, quick to see the mistake, was too eager to rectify the quake. So he erased the new order of things, substituted the old (LEFT CENTRE RIGHT). With heads like rock and feet like sheep, the human debris of the last quake quaked again, until the official seating arrangement was finally restored. Thus it was learnt that a class in geology can take an active part in a first-class cataclysm, and still have half an hour left for sleep or for hearing a lecture on the character and ancestors of the responsible Mr. Fate, who slyly escaped the danger zone.