JOHN HARVARD ALUMINIZED IN COLD DAWN; COPS SAVE ALL
In the cold gray dawn one day last week a wandering Yard Cop stopped by the John Harvard statue in front of University Hall. Although the moon was shining brightly, it seemed to him that the Statue was bathed a trifle too much in a white, ethereal, other-wordly light.
And he was right. Earlier in the evening a lusterous cost of aluminum paint had been liberally applied to the fanciful representation of the man who is erroneously labelled as the "founder" of the College.
A quick call for reinforcements brought out the men who apparently are retained just to wait for such an occurance, complete with a gasoline compound known in technical terms as aluminum paint remover. By 8 o'clock the next morning all was dull bronze again save for a suspicious silver daub on one foot, and due to Harvard's well-known aversion to early rising, nobody was the wiser.