News

Pro-Palestine Encampment Represents First Major Test for Harvard President Alan Garber

News

Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu Condemns Antisemitism at U.S. Colleges Amid Encampment at Harvard

News

‘A Joke’: Nikole Hannah-Jones Says Harvard Should Spend More on Legacy of Slavery Initiative

News

Massachusetts ACLU Demands Harvard Reinstate PSC in Letter

News

LIVE UPDATES: Pro-Palestine Protesters Begin Encampment in Harvard Yard

Daily Dartmouth Goes Under By Poonish Score, 23 to 2

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

"We've been in a ball game," gasped eleven weary Green men as they emerged from their iron lungs this morning. Victims of a merciless 23-2 shellacking at the hands of a stellar group of CRIMSON pigskin-toters, the footsore Indians reached blindly for the first bottled objects that came their way.

Scoring four times in the first minute of play, the Plympton Street All Stars coasted on their laurels and an empty keg of Pabst Blue Ribbon the rest of the way. The first score, chalked up 30 seconds before the opening whistle, came about after a pass, a punt, a prayer, and a foul ball into the left field stands. Refusing to use his anti-tank division until the opening of a second front, Hesdman Rocknelberry Fenn used three full teams and an umpire in subaning the hapless Hanoverians.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags