Harvard's done it again! In a dusky and over-worked Physics B laboratory came the long-heralded "eureka," and a little spectacled man clenched in his fist the treatise proving the existence of the 93rd element. The strange thing about the new element is why didn't somebody think of it before. This, the one that Mendeleeff missed, has been given the formula Wo., and has been appropriately named Woman.

Physics B students were privileged to read a mimeographed copy telling of the new discovery. "The color exhibited by many specimens of the new element is a surface phenomenon and is usually due to a closely adhering powder. Some varieties tend to form Anne-ions, others Cat-ions.

There's a lot more, but the science world is already convinced of its genuineness.