Electronics School

I was walking down to Harvard Square for lunch yesterday when I met an electron. He was coming down the sidewalk at a pretty fast clip (186,000 miles a second) and I saluted him as he passed. (Electronics are military personnel now, you know, and they rate a salute.)

I suppose he really was in a hurry because he only nodded as he passed instead of returning my salute. But in a couple of micro-seconds he was back again, and this time I prevailed upon him to stop.

He was quite out of breath from running so fast and I guess he was glad to get a rest. As soon as he could speak, he apologized for not stopping before, saying that since this new high-frequency stuff came in, he hardly had time to do anything but turn around.

Electrons Negative

This electron was a pretty interesting fellow, as electrons go. They're all very much alike though; they have very negative personalities. But this one had a new outlook on life since the beginning of the war. He felt that now he was really able to do something useful.

I asked him how he liked the course here. At first he didn't' want to talk about it--none of us do--but when I told him I was taking it, too, he opened up.

"It has its good and bad points, of course," he said. Electrons are never positive about anything. "But on the whole I like it. One day Professor Morris turned off a radio while I was in one of the tnbes, and I sure had one awful time trying to get out.

Vacuum Boring

"Imagine how dull it is in once of those vacuum tubes--there's nothing in there at all. When he finally let me out, he got me going back and forth in a coil so fast that I got dizzy and got into a gas tube by mistake.

"If you'll take my advice, you'll stay out of gas tubes. Those positive ions are worse than women. Once you get caught by one of those babies, it takes an act of legislature to get free again.

"Well, somehow I got through that gas tube safely, but there was a moment when a big red positive ion tried to grab me and I thought I'd never get away. When I got out of that, I got stuck in a condenser, and I was afraid I was going to get discharged. It would be the last straw to lost your job after going through all that.

Rescue Secret

"Don't ask me how I got out of that jam. Professor Chaffee saved me. He thinks of everything, but how he did it is a military secret."

The electron paused and stratched his ear thoughtfully; then went on. "Yes, I've had my troubles here just like everybody else, but in spite of everything. I like it. It's a pleasure to work with such a fine bunch of men. Every electron in the school says the same thing. Just ask them. There's only one other thing I have to complain of. Sometimes Professor Wing goes so fast in his lectures, I can't keep up with him."

Just then an electric, wave went by with a seductive oscillative motion.

"Well, beat my frequency!" said the electron. "There goes that wave I've been trying to modulate."

He dashed off after her with the speed of light. I was sorry to see him go because I wanted to hear the rest of what he had to say about the speed of Professor Wing.