STRAIGHT DOPE

If we can beat the darned caterpillars to the middle of this piece of paper, maybe we'll have a column this week. They're waltzing around our doorstep right now, looking for something else to eat, having completely consumed the front walls of Mellon, Chase and adjacent dorms. For a while there Monday we thought they ate our laundry, but it finally arrove, khakis and whites all rolled up in the usual knots. Oh winter, where is thy sting?

Probably on account of Donald Nelson, or some A1Nav or other, things look blacker than black for the Independence Day week-end. We'll be right down in the salt mines as usual from the looks of things, and with no portal to portal pay either.

Don't buy that yacht yet for your Fall vacation. The "PTB's" (Navy abbrevation for Powers That Be) are planning something extra special for the interval between semesters. Just recall that old Navy principle "Learn by Doing" and you get some idea of what may be in store for us "up and coming" disbursing, supply, administrative, management, statistical, procurement, negotiating, inspecting, beer-drinking officers in the "interim." But let's not give up all hope, Maybe we'll all go to Shangri-La to see how the monastery keeps its books, with Ronald Colman and Jane Wyatt.

Two bright lights on the dark horizon. Things appear to be shaping up well for a Friday 16-1800 dance at Potter Auditorium next week. Half of us will be hosts to the brand new WAVES from 'cross the river, the other half to our brand new WIVES. So forget your report that day, but don't forget the dance. Watch this colyum for verification.

Also very much on the social side, we've been doin' a little extracurricular snoopin' to try to arrange a mixed swim at the Natatorium some evening. The idea is Ken Schuette's and we think it's the coolest idea yet. Mebbe more later on same.

Well, chillun, we done got us a new "God". 'Matter of fact, we done got us a whole flock of swell new "Gods". Yesterday the names of Brother Pinet, Norton, Schuette and McIntyre were entered in the Good Book. Anyway may they lead us in righteousness through the paths of Heaven and Disbursing, with an everlastin' light from Baker Hall. Seriously, with Sherwood, Swanger, Custer, Smith, Williams, and Prussing on their "staff", we look forward to a semester of military leadership as fine as the "step-downers" have been, and with the benefit of much additional "doing".

If you haven't looked at Baker Hall bulletin board recently, a few dates may be news to you: Monday, July 19 to Wednesday, July 21, mid-term exams; Friday, September 10, last day of classes for this semester; Saturday, September 11 to Monday, the 13th, reading period; and good ol' final exams from Tuesday, September 14 to Tuesday the 21st, excluding Saturday and Sunday. It'll be a long, drawn out affair this time, but maybe a little less pressing as a result. Oh yes, it's now pretty definite that Commander Collins and Lieutenant Anderson will teach the Supply course which Mr. Collins "gathered together" last week in Washington.

We was cut last column quite a bit. Let's see if there's anything worth combing out of last week's waste basket . . . A ruling will be made soon on allowances for family travel. $100 additional uniform allowance should appear around three weeks hence. On your next trip to New York, stop at the Commodore Hotel (42 St. & Lexington Ave)--Officers' Service, for best seats to best shows at half price for two, on the night of the performance (before 1900). Free dance invitations and broadcast tickets also available. And, the beautiful quarters of the New York Advertising Club are being used as Officers Hq., so drop in sometime.

Didyaknow: Bob Edwards expects a $10,000 check (or thereabouts) for a story recently accepted by the Saturday Evening Post. He won't reveal the subject. Wonder why . . . Bob Henderson's wedding pictures are really somp'n. He starts out dignified and handsome, and ends up handsome. Beautiful wife too, but that's only natcheral (5c please). . . . What student officer has red spots before his eyes every time he puts on his whites . . . . What's Bill Kershaw's new system for meeting the right girls in places? Dick Custer reported to be closing a deal with his "Andover Anchovy". Seems she run a finishing smack down thataway and Dick likes the way she tosses her lines around.