STRAIGHT DOPE

With the sun a shining and the breeze a blowing, and eight and three-quarter hours of liberty ahead, please excuse us for tossing off a paragraph or so of news, and then a few ditties to fill up space. We promise to be more conscientious next week.

The news: No disbursing exam next Monday; changed to the following week, August 2nd, New York City here I come. Once again we recommend the Hotel Commodore's Officers' Service, with half-price show tickets and rebates on the best clubs and restaurants.

Charles Restricted Area

No swimming in the Charles, and that means Neal Smith and B. B. Sherwood. It is definitely polluted, says the notice. Liberty for Provincetown boat-riders until 1 hour after docking Sunday night. Fare $8.00 round trip, per couple. Havva good time. Wish I wuz there.

No definite news about fall vacations, but it looks like "other plans" will be on a voluntary basis, so go ahead and propose. Again we say all officers will have liberty from the last class raily to the first class next day. A new twist says maybe anyone who wants to can live off ye olde campus, maybe.

Laundry Paradise

We've got ourselves a now laundry. Looks too good to be true, at seventy cents for ten pounds, whites, khakis, and shirts included, all finished. I'll believe it when I see the first package returned, which may take as much as ten days, they admit. Anyhow, the Defense Laundries have been "taken over" by the Army (and the Army can have them) and local laundries will take your clothes only if you go along to wash them, so where does this leave us?

As to individual efforts to obtain sundry favors over the long-term trend, by certain means familiar to us all, that's out. Because no-one, spelled nobody will be retained aboard the SS. Harvard from among us, and chances look swell for 99.44/100 percent sea duty, so there. (If the shoe fits, tear out Number 18 coupon). However, we will be given an opportunity to any where we'd like to spend the next six years (see Department release of Wednesday morning).

Heeser New Three-Striper

Congratulations are in order for our "Exec". Straight from Washington comes the news that he has left the ranks of junior officers, to return to us with three full stripes. Commander Hesser's return from the capitol may enable us to clear up a few new items of interest to youse guys and gals by next edition.

Yes, you can make the privilege list after mid-terms, if the next disbursing exam gets you there (it may taken you off, too, incidentally). Said "list" should be posted within ten days or less.

Harvard bills should be paid by the 26th (if we've received then). Letters from Midshipmen Tweedy and Borth-wick this week were interesting. See Wachs and "Breck" for a look; it's worth while.

Small Stuff

Romantic notes: Bob Sherwood still writing nasty notes to that chamber maid about misplacing his unmentionables. But there's nothing real between them, cause he really has a "one and only", in New York of all places. The Lima Bean girl at Cowie has promised Oliver Wilson a seamless nylon hairnet for his unruly locks. Because Mrs. Betey Brown says we shouldn't, and we're mad at her because she won't guest-write our column even once, we will say that Wally Notter's daughter looks too bee-eutiful for to be a boy, although it is, and it has hair, which ain't.

And now those ditties:

Quote

"The bee is such a busy soul

It has no time for birth-control

And that is why in times like these

We see so many sons-of-bees.

They were married in September

Beneath the Harvest Moon

When the baby came in March it cried

"Isn't it warm for June?"

... Unquote.