OR the love of Mike. Youse guys is old fashioned. I know, I know! The way you learned it, "In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love," but around here things is different--see?--all over. In the springtime around here ya got the buds a coming out, ya got the boids a coming in, but in superiorelation to the whole thing, boys, ya got the Service News Annual Spring Comp, boys.
So the springtime does getcha frustrated an ya get the spring fever an bad. So we letcha in on a little sedret--join the comp! Sure, Mike, we can't guarantee you'll forget the days of saddle shoes and gas to burn; we're makin ya no promises, but we think we got something here that will help ya out. Ya've all had the urge for the roar of the presses and the smell of hot copy--as we say in journalese--an this is the place to come. If printer's ink is whatcha want--if ya got the ol touch in business--if ya like to take pictures of big shots--we got what'll keep ya happy.
Now look, you're a newshawk an ya like to write the stuff. Or maybe ya even like to dig up the stuff. Ya won't make a monkey out of yaself, but you'll probably see yourself in places ya never expected to be. Your relations with the Assistant Deans, unless your case is pending action by the Administrative Board, will be anything but official; who knows, ya may even get to see a full Dean some day. Your life as a reporter will be a happy one; ya probe, ya investigate, even expose. As a newsman ya write almost anything. Vying with the Jester and Mickey Sullivan for local honors, your life will be one of night tramps through the byways of University life, distracted only by rivers of six per cent beer.
An if ya love the feel of cash in somebody else's pocket we can fitcha in. If you've got that certain sense of touch that makes a businessman a businessman, the Service News was made for ya. Loin the business from the bottom up. Or ya like the solitude of the darkroom and the cool dribble of hypo through your fingers. Perhaps it's the flash of light bulbs and the excitement of dangerous assignments that fascinates ya. We got the darkroom, hypo, and we can cook up the danger.
Now supposin it's just the beer ya like--ok, we got that, too. Ya just drop around to the Crimson Building tamorra night at 7:30 an ya get beer an coke an all the straight dope. Ya can slice it thick, ya can slice it thin, but nomatta how ya look at it, the Service News Spring Comp is the deal for ya.