News

Pro-Palestine Encampment Represents First Major Test for Harvard President Alan Garber

News

Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu Condemns Antisemitism at U.S. Colleges Amid Encampment at Harvard

News

‘A Joke’: Nikole Hannah-Jones Says Harvard Should Spend More on Legacy of Slavery Initiative

News

Massachusetts ACLU Demands Harvard Reinstate PSC in Letter

News

LIVE UPDATES: Pro-Palestine Protesters Begin Encampment in Harvard Yard

Taylor-Made President

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Officials in Massachusetts hall are removing the mirrors in preparation for the arrival of Harvard's next president, pictured on the right. The new Yorker's R. Taylor yesterday revealed that this youngster will be Conant's successor. Taylor s the illustrator of "Fractured French" and the author of the cartoon book, "The Better Taylors."

This is the sixth of the scientific series on the University's new chief executive. Taylor explains his forecast in the following terms:

"After considerable research, reflection and certain esoteric rites )to do with a bottle) I find that all sings point to the following:

"A) Perhaps still younger. This is the Age of Youth. Whiskers are vanishing. B) While the tendency has been toward more head-hair, it is fairly safe to assume that the crew-cut, now pretty well established in academic circles, especially with the young, will prevail. C) Eyebrows appear to have become heavier (see Conant), therefore it would seem reasonable to expect heavier brows than formerly. D) Eyeglasses come an go, but since two out of the last three presidents have worn em, I feel if not too extreme to look forward to double lenses. This is the least accurate, perhaps, of the items in my prognostication. There may well be contact-lenses, in the spirit of the times.

"ED The nose appears to be shrinking. F) Ditto ears, G) If Conant's is any indication of a trend, we may expect a breeder grin. B) The chin, in the American male, seems to be diminishing. There many be little or none of this. 1) Dress is, of course, becoming less and less formal. If may be that tirelessness and colorlessness will be the order of the day.

"NOTE: Cheer up, fellers, these prophesies seldom mean a thing."

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags