Students Are Warned To Guard Churchkeys
Imbibing students had better keep weekend; they may not be able to get any more.
That was the word yesterday from proprietors of two local liquor stores, who explained that beer distributors have drastically out down on the number of "churchkeys" that they supply to retail outlets. Consequently, the proprietors warned, they'll have to stop handing out free openers.
There was no explanation given for beer companies' sudden move to stifle the public's churchkey supply. In past years, according to one of the salesmen, Schlitz alone has distributed enough openers "to provide three for every person in the country, including children and dogs."