Roses Are Red. . .

"Pinch my checks and call me Rosy Cause Lovin' you makes me feel cozy."

Vag schuddered, but the fellow in the blue mackinaw crowding behind him chuckled gutturally. "That's the greatest, isn't it?" Vag condescendingly smiled his assent. Some people like that kind of verse, he thought, and moved on down the rack. A bright red card attracted him. "Because you're mine. . ."it read. Ruefully, Vag opened it. Ah, well. . . "and I am thine, life is perfect, Valentine." Maybe the fellow in the blue coat will like it.

The crowd in front of the rack had grown considerably, and Vag had difficulty seeing which card was attracting all the attention at the end of the rack. He pushed against the several men and the girl in front of him and read: "This Valentine shows quite clearly that. . ."Someone opened it. A portable mousetrap smashed his thumb. Ouch. "I have a crush on you," the greeting concluded with small consolation. Clever, Vag thought.

A glance at the heart-shaped clock told Vag he should be getting back to his history reading. Well . . . five more minutes. And maybe I can find something really funny, he thought. The flannel led pair in front of him was cackling over a card emblazoned with an outhouse. It turned out to be a phone booth. Well, Oh, there was blue coat again, gleefully whacking his friend on the back. He was holding a large card decorated with a picture of a secretary. Vag strained to see what it said. "I'm just a Working Girl. . ."the yellow letters shrieked. May be they've come up with something, Vag though hopefully. He burrowed past the gray-haired man in front of him and snatched up the secretary card. ". . . Come up and see me work some time," was the punch line.

Vag turned to the more serious cards. Ah--there was a nice pastel peacock on a modernistic looking one. But--"Than a peacock I'd be prouder, If you'd shout I love you louder." One more try, Vag resolved. If I don't find something now, hell with it. He opened "This valentine is guaranteed. . " and then groaned slightly when a pop-out gorilla leered at him with the inscription, ". . . to scare the YELL out of you." I guess I'm just too old to appreciate these things any more, Vag mumbled as he hunched under his tweed overcoat, and strode with determined sophistication out the door.