The Pete and Jerry Show

ALWAYS LOOKING ahead, Governor Jerry Brown's eyes gazed east from the day he arrived in Sacramento. After an aborted Presidential bid, he has settled for a more modest aspiration: the U.S. Senate seat vacated by sleeping Sam Hayakawa. His opponent, Republican Pete Wilson, has spent the last few years as Mayor of San Diego and is as well known there for his colorless personality as Brown is everywhere for his eccentric flamboyance.

Recently nicknamed Governor Moonbeam, because his policies change as often as the moon changes phases. Brown's reign has alienated many Californians. Several issues have pulled at his fingernails. Many felt he mishandled the Medfly crisis by hesitating before spraying infested areas fast enough with ample poison, and Brown's flings into Presidential politics also earned him much animosity, because he spent excessive amounts of time out of Sacramento. His judicial appointments have met fierce opposition from those who object to the liberal bent of his appointees. Finally, his well publicized private life has occasionally surfaced as a source of embarrassment with his Zen Buddhism and sketchy affair with pop star Linda Ronstadt drawing the most barbs. Going into the race, Brown's popularity rated dismal at best.

Due to Brown's perceived ineptitude, Wilson managed to earn himself a 12 point summer lead in the polls, despite the woes of Reaganomics which now plague all Republicans. He might have maintained his advantage except he insisted upon opening his mouth, spewing forth a series of gaffes. When questioned about his views on Social Security, Wilson advocated making Social Security payments voluntary for those over 45 years of age. Ever the opportunistic politician, Brown quickly created a series of T.V. ads showing scissors clipping a Social Security card as a voice implied that Pete Wilson wants to scrap the system. Los Angeles Times analyst Richard Bergholz, however, claimed that in fact the candidates' views on the issue are virtually identical to each others'.

THE RACE has subsequently deteriorated to the name calling atmosphere of a grade school. Pete focuses his campaign on Jerry's unpopular record as governor, as well as his unconventional lifestyle. Jerry challenges Pete for his lack of experience in addressing national issues, exemplified by his constant public slips. Jerry plays his usual role of avoiding a specific stance on any given subject. Each is investing millions of dollars to smear the other's reputation.

Most recently, Jerry has attacked Pete for his views on Proposition 12, a nuclear freeze referendum. Pete drifted from a probable "yes" before the primary to a flat "no" afterwards. In a somewhat assbackward argument, he claims the initiative's scope is too limited to satisfy him. He would support it if it called for an arms reduction prior to the freeze, even though normal logic dictates production must stop before reductions can be negotiated.

Jerry responded immediately with a T.V. ad depicting a mushroom cloud while a child says. "I want to go on living." Its final lines state. "Vote for your life. Elect Jerry Brown to the U.S. Senate."

Pete cried foul play, and swore to catch Jerry with his pants down in his own series of retaliatory ads. Nevertheless, the polls now indicate that Jerry and Pete are so close they can smell each other's breath. The outcome will surely depend on upcoming ad campaigns and their impact on the voters.

Even in the land of the mellow, home of the beached surf boys and proselytizing vegetarians, politics manages to bring the killer instinct out of deep-freeze. Like the 1980 Presidential race, most beleagured votes will end up choosing the candidate they find least offensive. Too often the political world's has warped priorities make democracy an exercise in preventive voting. It leaves observers lamenting the current situation, dreaming of the way politics should operate.

Meanwhile, let's take a hot tub. Pass that joint.