News

Cambridge Residents Slam Council Proposal to Delay Bike Lane Construction

News

‘Gender-Affirming Slay Fest’: Harvard College QSA Hosts Annual Queer Prom

News

‘Not Being Nerds’: Harvard Students Dance to Tinashe at Yardfest

News

Wrongful Death Trial Against CAMHS Employee Over 2015 Student Suicide To Begin Tuesday

News

Cornel West, Harvard Affiliates Call for University to Divest from ‘Israeli Apartheid’ at Rally

Branca Nabs Shmen "Honors"

By Adam J. Epstein

When freshman water polo player Nick Branca and two friends were in Denmark last summer, they read about the annual "Running of the Bulls" in Pamplona, Spain.

Most sane people would have seen the story--and dismissed as a fool anyone who would scamper 900 yards down narrow streets with six raging bulls nipping at his heels. But not Branca.

"We heard it was starting and said "Okay, we've got to go!' I was so scared," he admitted. "We were out there running with the bulls, and you had to climb up on fences to avoid them."

While Branca was not the only chicken on the fence, he was probably among the few to get down and taunt one of the ferocious beasts.

"After one ran by, I jumped down and whacked him," Branca said with a laugh. "You just sort of hope he keeps running and doesn't turn around!"

Branca, a native of San Diego, says that tempting death has helped him cope with new experiences ranging from life in Europe to life in the pool with "vicious" collegiate water polo players.

After Pamplona, Branca and his friends could brush aside any difficulties by saying "We ran with the bulls! We can do anything!"

"Had it not been for the attitude that made me run with the bulls," Branca added, "I'd not have been [named] "Freshman of the Year."

Brance was referring to the honor his Harvard men's water polo teammates awarded him Friday night before the Ivy League Championships. Crimson Tri-Captain Ben Elizondo said that this title, in its inaugural year, was given to the newcomer who "gives the upperclassmen a little more trouble now and then--who's a little more outspoken."

Fellow Tri-Captain Bill Wolff elaborated: the honor was "created in the image of the swim team's 'Ironman Award' for the most obnoxious freshman."

"Nick Branca was the victor just because he's awfully 'shmenly," Wolff noted. "I wouldn't call him obnoxious, but he's a forceful character who says some funny things."

Scorecards kept track of each freshman's "shmenly activities" and funny quotes throughout the season. At Friday's awards ceremony, results were tabulated to determine the winner.

Branca's tally sheet began with an incident which took place during the team's training camp in Los Angeles last summer, after his return from Europe. At Branca's suggestion, the team left a California Angels baseball game before its conclusion in order to visit neighboring Disneyland.

Perhaps the team accepted the freshman's ill-fated suggestion because it was so unexpected. When Branca was being recruited in April, he was introduced to the team captains.

"They assumed I was a shy kid who could never get out of line. They were kind of surprised when I showed up for California training [with a new attitude, inspired by the Pamplona experience]," Branca said.

Because they were at Disneyland, the aquadudes missed Reggie Jackson's 2500th career hit--and Wolff, a big baseball fan, was furious.

"He chased me all around the parking lot screaming 'We're at the 'Happiest Place in the World?'," Branca recalled. His path to "Shmen of the Year" thus began in the Disneyland parking lot.

"The captains sat the top three [candidates] down on the couch. Bill Wolff then said 'Greg Beber, please stand! For [harassing the upperclassmen], you are...NOT Shmen of the Year!'''

Branca continued: "Then Bill said 'Nick Branca, please stand!' I was really happy because I thought that meant I had not won. I was jumping around saying 'Kyle [Enright, the third freshman on the couch], it's you! It's you!' Then Bill said 'Nick, for shooting vodka through your nose, for saying 'I'm not a 'shmen' when you obviously are, for making me miss the baseball game, you are...' I screamed 'NOT', but he said 'ARE' Shmen of the Year!'''

"I was naturally dejected," said the defeated Enright, "but when I saw what the punishment was, I was happy."

The punishment began when the captains pulled Branca off the couch, took off his shirt, and tried to write "Shmen of the Year" across his chest in red, blue and green permanent markers. "But in all the jubilation, it was impossible," Branca said.

All they could manage were random streaks which looked like the work of a drunken tatoo artist--but which definitely made Branca the most noticeable player in the pool the next day.

On Saturday against Dartmouth, the multi-colored sensation was forced to play the entire game as punishment for winning the award. "When the captains interviewed me [the night before], I told them if I was elected, I'd go out and score a bunch of goals," Branca said. "So I had to follow through."

Making the most of his opportunity, Branca "followed through" by scoring a Crimson season-high five goals, including a difficultbackhanded shot at the game's end.

But the most satisfying game of the season forBranca was the team's pennant-clinching victoryover Brown's "B" team.

"Brown's really obnoxious," Branca said. "Theysort of come to the tournament and try to takeover, with the attitude 'Okay, we're here. Thetournament can begin.' We had to show them theyweren't superior."

Harvard proved itself by humiliating theBruins, 14-4. The Crimson should get its fourthcrack at beating Brown's "A" team Sunday at theNew England Championships in Providence, R.I.

And now that the "Shmen of the Year"controversy has been settled, the outlook isbullish that Harvard can trample the Bruins

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags