AMERICA IS SAFE at last.
White House insiders have revealed that the President is now considering a new plan to make nuclear weapons obsolete. A high-level source leaked this transcript of a National Security Council meeting which took place sometime last week:
Ronnie: Well, hello, everybody. Anyone want a jellybean?
Shultz: Yes, Mr. President, may I have a red one?
Ronnie: Choose again, George, red is dead.
Shultz: Uh, I'm sorry, sir. I'll try a blue one.
Ronnie: Well, all right, I understand you have a proposal for me.
Cap: Yes, er, that's right, Mr. President. The Pentagon has...
Ronnie: Anyone want another jellybean? Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, Cap. Go on.
Cap: I was just going to say that the boys over at SDI have come up with a real zinger.
Ronnie: SDI? Is that the contraceptive they recalled?
Cap:Uh, no, Mr. President, it's your Strategic Defense Initiative.
Ronnie: That reminds me of a story I used to tell about Jimmy Stewart. I don't remember the story, though.
Cap: No problem, sir, maybe it will come to you later. Anyway, they have this plan that would knock the Ruskies' missiles right out of the sky.
Bush: Gee, that sounds just swell.