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Silence in Dallas and Madness in March

Schoolyard Talk

By Julio R. Varela

There is silence in Texas Stadium today.

Ever since last week's announcement that Dallas Cowboy Coach Tom Landry was fired by new Dallas owner, Jerry Jones, and replaced with former University of Miami Coach Jimmy Johnson, Texas Stadium is quiet.

The man, the legend, the NFL institution with the fedora hat and stoic face has left.

So long, partner, thanks for your 26 years of roaming the sidelines.

Pack up your files and those two Super Bowl rings. Don't call us, we'll call you.

What ever happened to handling the situation in a professional manner? Did the Cowboys suddenly forget that Landry turned the team from "America's Nightmare" in the early '60s to "America's Team" in the late '70s?

Jones remembers only past results. Like the Cowboys' 3-13 record last year.

Thanks, Tom.

The only person who handled the situation with class was Landry himself. He said that he felt no bad feelings about his firing and that his firing and that his relationship with the Cowboys had ended.

A tear rolled down his cheek.

The top 10 symptoms of March Madness (also known as that strange sickness every college basketball fan gets around the third week of March, when the NCAA Tournament reaches full stride):

10. You make no plans to go outside during the weekend. (e.g., "You got backstage passes to see Bruce Saturday afternoon? Sorry, the Eastern Regionals are on at 3 p.m., the Midwest at 5 p.m., the West at 7 p.m. I'm going to be kind of busy. Hey, maybe I'll see you after the Final Four.")

9. You go to your friendly, neighborhood copier place and enlarge the NCAA Tournament bracket 3999 percent so it can cover one of your bedroom walls.

8. You start doing Dick Vitale impersonations during dinner. (e.g., "Sherman Douglas! Showtime! I was just talking to my good friend Jimmy V., and he has confirmed the rumors that he will accept the coaching position for the Soviet basketball team...")

7. You say to yourself every time LSU freshman Chris Jackson nails a three-pointer, "I can't believe he's younger than me."

6. You don't study.

5. You stay up until 3 a.m. on a Thursday morning to watch Washington State Tech take on Iowa Southern State Community College in the first round of the Western Regionals. Live, right here on CBS.

4. You start singing all the Michelob Lite commercial theme songs during lecture (e.g., the Frank Sinatra one).

3. You promise yourself that no matter when or where the Final Four will be next year, you will definitely, absolutely, positively order tickets for it.

2. You kind of wish that if you had the choice to do it all over again, you would have chosen to play basketball over Little League, so that with a little luck and a lot of talent, you could have become the shooting guard for North Carolina instead of some college hoops freak who eats Doritos and drinks beer every weekend in front of a color television.

1. You start to like Brent Musberger. Right here on CBS.

(If you suffer from symptom number one, you should see a doctor real fast. Something is seriously wrong.)

Some final thoughts:

Is Penthouse truly a bastion of solid, investigative journalism?

If Wade Boggs does hit .400 this year, will anyone care?

Could it possibly be the Cleveland Cavaliers vs. the Utah Jazz in the NBA Finals? CBS can't wait to see the ratings on this one. (Personally, I'd rather watch public television. Or old "Gilligan's Island" reunion movies.)

The Bruins will make the Stanley Cup finals again. They're playing great hockey (8-0-1 during the last nine game) at the right time, right before the real season--the playoffs--begin.

And finally, if you're in that kind of hockey maniac mode this weekend and think that four ECAC games at Boston Garden are not enough, there's always the opportunity to watch the best high school teams in the area battle for the state titles.

No controversy. No courthouse decisions. More stuff like the weekend action at the Garden, and you'll quickly forget about the Oklahoma football team. Or Margo what's-her-name.

Schoolyard Talk by Julio Varela is a new weekly feature of The Crimson sports pages.

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