HARVARD ISSUES

The raging debates over PC and multiculturalism have placed a certain stigma against those who would deem others "sexist," but Harvard's nine all-made final clubs are worse than sexist. They're misogynist. They are an instrument of control, a self-segregating space where men can keep women out or bus them in whenever they want.

Final clubs are racist and elitist, to boot. If you liked the Harvard admissions office, you'll love a group of clubs that takes discrimination against Asian-Americans and favoritism for athletes and legacies to a new level. Final clubs are the last bastion of the old Harvard, a Harvard where men, where money talked loud and status even louder, where the unwashed masses were kept in their proper place and women were toys for young bachelors to play with...

...Lisa Schkolnick's indignation at the Fly's discriminatory membership practices was understandable, but the Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination has more important discrimination to combat in society. Discrimination in housing. Discrimination in employment. Discrimination that directly affects the livelihoods of working men and women. Discrimination that blatantly violates the law.

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It has heavy security. It seeks airtight secrecy. And it's full of powerful people.

No, it's not the Pentagon's strategic war command center. It's Harvard's Committee to Search for the President. And it's getting ridiculous.

Sure, Harvard needs a president, Sure the presidency of Harvard is an important job. But as far as we can tell, national security is not at stake. There's no reason for the search committee to sneak around like Manhattan Project scientists...

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Last July, Harvard's presidential search committee was formed. Committee chair and spokesperson Charles P. Slichter had no comment. A few months later, a preliminary list of candidates was revealed. Slicther had no comment. In November, the committee met with a few undergraduates. Slichter did not attend and was unavailable for comment. In January, a shorter list was published. Slichter remained mum.

No wonder that two weeks ago, we complained that Slichter "does not speak to anybody." No wonder we called him a "purported spokesperson." No wonder we dredged up the old rumor that Slichter had not spoken to a Harvard undergraduate since his own graduation.

We owe Slichter a serious apology. Caught unawares at New York's Park Avenue Plaza last Wednesday, the spokesperson spoke. Slichter actually responded to a Crimson reporter's query about the possibility of an early April selection.

"God only knows," Slichter said. What loquaciousness! What openness! What candor! Obviously, we spoke too soon--even if Slichter didn't.

On a similar note, a comment from search committee member Robert G. Stone Jr. has convinced us to retract our specious comparisons of the committee and the Mafia.

On Wednesday, our intrepid reporter photographed Stone emerging from the closed-door meeting in New York. "Take his film," Stone commanded a startled nearby security officer, momentarily forgetting about that pesky old Bill of Rights.

Once again, we must apologize--to the Mafia.

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After listening to the priorities and concerns of Neil L. Rudenstine, we are truly astounded that he was chosen to be Harvard's 26th president.

Not because we disagree with his priorities and concerns. Nothing could be further from the truth. Rudenstine's priorities and concerns are the same priorities and concerns we have plastered all over this page for years.

That's why we're so surprised...

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The vegecidal maniacs are at it again.

Last fall, self-described "humorists" from the Harvard Lampoon--a semi-sadomasochistic social club that periodically publishes perennially pitiful parodies--axmurdered Cambridge's brave, defenseless Freedom tree. This violent affront to American liberty and the local environment sickened and saddened us all.

Last week, these coldhearted executioners once again turned to arboreal assassination. In celebration of "Phool's Week"--that time of year when middle-aged Lampy graduates take time off from their jobs as writers for "Babes" and "Rick Dees' Into the Night" to drink grain alcohol and force new recruits to "assume the position"--'Poonsters poisoned the soil in front of the "Castle," an architectural atrocity former Cambridge Mayor Alfred E. Vellucci has rightfully dubbed a "public urinal." The defouled dirt was intended to hold the seedlings for Freedom Tree II, an innocent flora-to-be nipped in the bud by the pathetic pranksters on Mount Auburn St...