The Ten Commandments

Thou shalt not have any other universities before me.

Thou shalt purchase many graven images of me, and place them on thy tie and on thy Oxford, on thy reverse-weave sweatshirt and on thy mug.

Thou shalt not take the name of the University in vain, except at high-powered cocktail parties.

Thou shalt remember the Yale game and keep it holy.

Honor thy mother and father, especially if you are a legacy.

Thou shalt not cheat.

Thou shalt not commit plagiarism.

Thou shalt not commit adultery--with anyone in your entryway.

Thou shalt not bear insensitive witness against PC terminology, nor shall thou speak ill of the differently aged, differently abled or animal companions.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's grades, nor covet his fellowship, his law school admissions, his formal date nor anything that is thy neighbor's