Am I a homewrecker?

Dear Norma,

I'm interested in someone--I'll call her "Letitia"--who already has a significant other. Should I try and befriend Letitia so she gets to know me well in case she breaks up with her Other, should I put off the befriending until they break up, or should I just not waste my time worrying? I really, really like her and don't see anyone else I'm really interested in. The worst part is, Letitia and her Other are happy together and their relationship seems perfect, so it gets me depressed when I'm around them. Norma, help me! --Pining in the Quad

Dear Pining,

Don't pine away. If you get depressed, don't hang around. Unless you enjoy misery, of course, which is perfectly understandable. If you want to wallow in self-pity, spend every moment around them, moan to your friends and write sappy poetry. But if I were you, I'd get a life. Watch TV, go for a bike ride, whatever; my guess is no one is worth that much heartache.

Dear Norma,

I have this fab boyfriend who I really like a lot, but there's a problem. His extracurricular activity is theater. Specifically, tech stuff. As a result, I go with him to every single play that goes up at Harvard. Every single one. "Heidi Chronicles." "Fuente Ovejuna." "Merlyn." "No Second Troy." "La Cage Aux Folles." "Deathtrap." You name it, I've seen it. I'm running out of "Opening Night" clothes. Why couldn't he be on the hockey team or be on the U.C. or even The Crimson? or even a capella, for God's sake! I'm sick of Harvard drama! Sick of it! Sick of it! Sick of it! Norma, what should I do?   --Drama-ed out in Dunster

Dear Drama-ed out,

Don't go. Like they say, nobody's making you. Ask him if he wants to do something else for a change (maybe a hockey game?). And if he doesn't, dump him. (In general dumping is proven to be a remedy for most things in life; it makes you feel great and Harvard students' relationships are too long and drawn-out anyway.)

Tell him you're seeing the same actors and actresses over and over again anyway; once you've seen 'em once, you've seen 'em all.

Dear Norma,

I've got a problem. I hate to dance. I just can't do it. My arms and legs flail all over the place and I just can't control them. It seems like a pretty necessary part of my social life but I still dread that moment when "Pump Up the Jam" comes on.   --Dancing Failure

Dear Dancing,

I suffered from a similar problem myself--until I came up with this perfect solution. I bring a strobe light with me to every party. Everyone is psyched to be at a party where there's a strobe light. As for me, I don't have to move, I still look cool, and it helps me build up muscle in my arms. Happy strobing.

Dear Norma,

How do I get e-mail? I really feel I should enter the technological age, but I'm a little frightened. Am I being left behind? How would I go about getting in on this?   --E-Mail-less

Dear E-mail-less,

How should I know? I ask my readers to send their letters the old-fashioned way--through the U.S. mail.