Adventures of SuperHillary?

Superman may be dead

but don't get it into your head

we don't have someone to take his place.

Her name is Hillary, bright of mind, fair of face.

Like Clark Kent she changes suits with case.

As lawyer, mother, wife she aims to please -Janet Krauss, "Our Hillary"   from The Hillary Clinton Quarterly

Superman had a comic book; now, Hillary Rodham Clinton has her own fanzine, a New Hampshire-based $3.95 newsletter. Superman flew to the White House to help the President with daunting problems; Hillary is expected to do some miracle work of her own with the nation's health care system. Both have big goals. Both wrestle with identity problems. Both wear tights.

Both are also examples--and potential victims--of Americans' obsession with heroes. We aren't all faster than a speeding bullet, so we set up idol figures to be our proxies. Then, with the relish of Greek tragedians, we watch them topple.

Americans have an obsessive interest in the nominees for various cabinet positions. It seems strange, considering how little attention we pay to their actions once they're in the job. We may hear Warren Christopher's name a lot, but how often does Health and Human Services make it on the network news-casts?

It's true that a nominee's record and background often give good indications of job performance. But the fascination with public figures goes deeper than that. There's something appealing about finding out the intimate details about celebrities--you never know when dirt might appear. It was with a certain zeal that millions of Americans called their senators to complain about Zoe Baird's yuppie hubris. And it was with a certain satisfaction that those same Americans watched Baird decline her nomination.

A tabloid industry flourishes on tales of celebrity transgressions. D.C. Comics killed Superman because D.C. Comics executives knew that if the Man of Steel bit the dust, Americans would buy the comic book.

According to "The Hillary Clinton Quarterly"--which promises to print both positive and negative opinions--Hillary will soon be defining key issues, forging a new role for women and making bold fashion statements. Stapled in the magazine's first issue is a mock-edition that documents Hillary Rodham-Clinton's presidential victory over Republican candidate Rush Limbaugh. It's written tongue-in-cheek, but it betrays a faint glimmer of hope.

After all, Americans need someone to revere. And with all eyes on Washington, Hillary's a natural choice. Bill, of course, is not in the running. Campaign sludge notwithstanding, we rarely idolize our presidents while they're in office. We only declare them heroes retrospectively. Abraham Lincoln spent an embattled presidential tenure. Woodrow Wilson was the toast of Europe at the end of World War I, but he was hated at home. Privy to pollsters, political payoffs and re-election bids, Presidents as a rule are too burdened to take bold stands. Unless he's able to slash the deficit and increase programs in a single bound, Bill Clinton won't achieve superpower status.

In the minds of Quarterly editors, Hillary is a far more heroic figure--high-profile, untarnished, apparently strong. She made the transformation from frowzy brown hair and Coke-bottle glasses to faux blonde locks and contact lenses. She also has brains, wit and a great resume.

But Hillary Clinton shouldn't be expected to solve the nation's problems--and she shouldn't be the busts of anyone's future goals.

A hero of public policy? She can't be. Mere mortal heroes don't have much staying power in Washington. Superman didn't have to worry about Congress, or about public opinion. Superman wasn't subject to popularity polls. After skirmishes with Members of Congress, Superman could fly off to the North Pole to cool off. He wouldn't have to face Lex Luthor at Washington dinner parties.

And a feminist role model she isn't. Pinning any feminist hopes on a First Lady is a mistake. The Quarterly's poem may declare Hillary a statue of liberty ("she lifts her torch/to all women: "Don't just sit on the porch--"), but she is hardly a NOW poster child.

When Wellesley College invited Barbara Bush to speak at its commencement, students protested that she would not have been chosen had she been married to anyone but the President. Her achievements represented an outdated brand of female success.

Hillary Rodham Clinton, a successful attorney and children's rights activist, might be more palatable to Wellesley students. But it's important to remember that Clinton is only the object of national attention because her husband ran for president--and won. The First Lady shouldn't be a model for American women. Catapulted into fame and glory simply because of your marriage? That smacks of royalty. It's like marrying into superpower; wouldn't it be best to earn it all on your own?

Superheroes are like most campaign promises--too good to be true, and a little disingenuous. Pinning any unrealistic hopes on the First Lady, be they tied to children's rights, education or health care, would be a mistake. Certainly, Hillary Clinton has achieved much in the past. Her Quality Education Commission in Arkansas brought real reforms. But Arkansas isn't Washington, where Hillary's position is far more embattled.

Some may, unfortunately, mistrust her because she's a woman. Others, more justifiably, may mistrust her because of her political agenda, which is different from the one on which her husband was narrowly elected. Hillary Rodham Clinton is a powerful Washington figure who is democratically unaccountable and can neither be fired nor impeached. That's enough to give anyone pause.

Maybe the editors of "The Hillary Clinton Quarterly" haven't completely bought into their own hero worship. Perhaps it's precisely the I-told-you-so thrill that earned Hillary her own magazine. And if the editors aren't gleefully awaiting the First Lady's eventual fall from grace, maybe they should be. A tainted Hillary would be a boon for subscriptions--just ask the former editors of the "Quayle Quarterly."

Joanna M. Weiss, the editorial chair of The Crimson, never owned a pair of Wonder Woman Underoos. Honest.