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Spring Break 1994

Warning: Reading the following may cause severe dizziness, nausea, and diarrhea.

By Jc & Nhl

As Harvard students head home for the holidays, we tried to think of some tried-and-true advice. A guide on How To Survive The Next Ten Days With Your Parents, that sort of thing. But we don't have one. So we thought about all of you heading off with your friends for the sunny shores of Florida or Bermuda and we sighed.

We've tried to give all the advice we could think of this issue--for example, on how not to Look Like A Gringo. We even checked up on extra-terrestrial life so none could disturb your well-deserved vacations. We were really worried about this--be thankful. We did all this, even knowing most of you pleasure seekers won't even be around to read dear old FM.

But one of us got a letter yesterday we'd like to share with you. It comes from Moscow. It's random. But we think you should read it:

"Everything is much the same here, although there are more criminals," the friends writes. "Life is like usual although our home was robbed and many icons taken. Then we bought cool car. A Finnish car, which we paid for with much money. It was stolen. It was found many miles from Moscow but it is all broken--no front--and we have no money to repair it. But if you come we will protect you from the bad people. Plus mother is in hospital with cancer so there is a free room for you.

"How are things? As you see things are much like usual. Love, Sasha."

We know, its relevance is limited--but it's been six months of winter and our sanity is starting to go. So we claim no responsibility for any confusion as a result of this article. It's just your sunstrokes. We promise. That may also explain the nausea and diarrhea. Enjoy your spring breaks, everyone. And let us know if you see any extra-terrestrials.

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