100 REASONS WHY HARVARD SUCKS

1 ERGONOMETRIC WORKSTATIONS

We knew that the RSI epidemic had gotten out of hand when straps were involved while checking our e-mail in the Science Center.

2 PLYMPTON STREET AND LINDEN STREET SIDEWALKS

Even the buddy system doesn't cut it down these Cantabrigian autobahns. Cobblestones are murder for heels, messenger bag straps are easy prey to bike handlebars and that conversation you were having with the cute guy in section totally breaks up as soon as you get past the Harvard Book Store.

3 ONLY ONE RIVER HOUSE STOCKS FROSTED MINI-WHEATS

The kid in you knows what's best.

4 THE STENCH IN THE QUINCY DISH ROOM

Sure, Jammin' 94.5 is in full effect back there, but the smooth beats don't nearly compensate for the rank funk in this space. You want to take care to separate your paper trash and silverware from what goes on the conveyor belt, but the mind-numbing odor leads many to just drop and bail, squeezing their noses like four-year olds jumping off a diving board.

5 THE MODELS IN THE URBAN OUTFITTERS WINDOW

Weren't they in my Lit and Arts C section? Didn't they have faces?

6 THE PEW IN FRONT OF YOU IN SANDERS

After a half-hour of Marty Feldstein or James Kugel, even the loosest limbed get cramped. But kick hard if you're looking to stretch those legs--this isn't your run-of-the-mill renovated Temple Beth El. Who designed this place any-way?

7 THE CHOICE BETWEEN THE SURGE PROTECTOR AND SIMPLE POWER STRIP

Harvard, wired to the max, is faced with a pressing decision upon every visit to RadioShack. In a battle for space, the Harvard-provided two-outlets-per-room can't accommodate our--very essential--electronic pencil sharpeners, desk lamps, alarm clocks, stereos, computers and automated toothbrushes. But just how trustworthy is the electric flow in our classic abodes? Will our prized possessions fry?

8 EATING HEALTHY

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