Real definitions, according to Webster’s New World Dictionary, 14th Ed.
Peavey: a heavy wooden lever with a pointed metal tip and hinged hook near the end, used by lumbermen in handling logs.
Qiviut: the fine, soft, light brown inner layer of hair of the musk ox.
Quandong: a small australian tree of the sandlewood fameil, whose edible fruit has a single stone containing an edible kernel.
Doxy: a woman of low morals, specifically a prostitute.
Dan Donoghue—Professor of English, teaches English 101: History and Structure of the English Language.
Peavey: “a reaction a child feels when served vegetables.”
Qiviut: “I have no idea… an implement used in putting shoes on horses?”
Quandong: “Vessel used in Southeast Asia to travel on rivers
Doxy: “Precept, stemming from the Latin for teach.”
Harvey Mansfield ‘53—Kenan Professor of Government.
Peavey: “New kind of personal computer, instead of PC. PV—personal visualizing.”
Qiviut: “A new way to misspell quiet.”
Quandong: “It tells you when the bell is going to ring for ‘cuando dong.’”
Doxy: “Opinion, stemming from the Greek word, dox.”
Robert Kiely—Professor of English.
Peavey: “Someone who is easily annoyed.”
Qiviut: “Something someone does on the sly.”
Quandong: “Something you are served at a Vietnamese restauarant.”
Doxy: “Cockney slang for a female.”
Douglas Powell—Professor of English, specializing in poetry.
Peavey: “A privy where one can only ‘do’ number one.”
Qiviut: “One quarter of a quarter horse.”
Quandong: “Unit for measuring fried rice.”
Doxy: “Having both beautiful and ugly attributes at the same time.”
Professor Powell, it should noted, after learning the correct definition of doxy—a prostitute—commented, “I definitely should have known that one.”