Sword Mightier than Pen

Anders Blewett ’03, of the Harvard football team, watched his 37-yarder part the uprights through the drizzle and the swirling winds at Harvard Stadium. What followed was the most subdued celebration of a game-winning field goal ever—a pat on the back and a few polite words for the opposition. But that was to be expected. On this occasion, the vanquished foe wasn’t Yale, Penn or even Columbia.

It was Crimson sportswriter Daniel E. Fernandez ’03.

Blewett and Fernandez took to the field last week and competed in a kicking contest to settle an old score—one that began two years ago when Fernandez wrote a column bashing Harvard’s special teams unit. In “Who Wants To Be a Crimson Placekicker,” Fernandez laced into a kicking team that had at the time made only 1-of-9 field goals on the season. “If you’re reading this, Coach Murphy, you can always put me in if all else fails,” Fernandez wrote in 2000. “I couldn’t possibly do much worse than what you’ve been used to all season.”

Some Harvard football fans were amused by Fernandez’s mockery. Blewett, one of the Crimson kickers, was not.

“The only thing going through my head was, ‘This dude messed with the wrong cowboy,’” Blewett recalled. “When he was sitting at his typewriter, I bet he had no idea he was messing with a guy who hasn’t lost an arm-wrestling match since the fall of fourth grade.”

Spurred by a recent late-night conversation with Crimson editor Rahul Rohatgi ’03 and a “couple of cold ones,” Blewett decided to settle the matter once and for all with an old-fashioned kickoff. The feud’s resurrection was a surprise to Fernandez, who had moved on after an initial period of faux-death threats and dirty looks.

“I was surprised the whole thing had such a long shelf life,” Fernandez said. “It was nice to know the whole thing was friendly, and even though it was a little strange and out of the blue, I was intrigued.”

A date was set and Fernandez made his way across the river, where a cordial and grinning Blewett met him and shook his hand. In front of a frenzied crowd of three joggers, two athletic department employees and some pigeons, the two lined up at the 25-yard line for practice kicks.

“He had this huge smile,” Fernandez said. “He looked wide-eyed, almost maniacal. You could tell he was loving it.”

Blewett felt good heading in. “Beforehand I told Fernandez that he’d better bring the big stick or it was gonna get ugly,” he said (though it’s unclear exactly what “the big stick” means in the context of a kicking contest). “So I think Dan was a little shaken before setting foot on the field. To make matters worse, I know I’m pretty intimidating suited up in pads. Just ask any of the guys on the team.”

Blewett’s confidence didn’t waiver even after Fernandez, who missed on his first two practice kicks, nailed both his final warm-up and the first attempt of the contest.

“I have to hand it to Fernandez, he competed hard,” Blewett said. “Initially I thought I was really in for a barnburner. But after I discovered his weakness—that he had never kicked a football in his life—I realized that I had a fighting chance of pulling off the upset.”

The two engaged in a game of P-I-G, in which Blewett picked his spots and challenged Fernandez to match him kick-for-kick (think H-O-R-S-E but shorter). Fernandez made his first try from 23 yards out—a kick similar to one Blewett had missed in a game the previous week—but toed his next attempt wide right. Fernandez’s toe-punching approach made it difficult for him to get much velocity on his kicks, and he ended up missing three of six attempts.

The man Fernandez had nicknamed Anders “Oh No, He” Blewett, meanwhile, was a perfect 6-for-6, and spoke afterwards of how he “brought the thunder.”

“I don’t know if was due to the Rip Fuel I pounded at lunch or if it was due to the soft tissue massage therapy I had on my right quadricep prior to the contest,” Blewett said. “But there’s no question I was bringin’ it. As for Fernandez, I felt like the only thing he brought was a case of the sniffles and a bad haircut.”

Fernandez may not have matched Blewett on the field but he did equal the kicker in self-congratulatory post-match boasting.

“I don’t think Blewett has made three field goals his entire career,” said Fernandez, who nailed kicks from 23, 25 and 27 yards.

The Blewett-Fernandez challenge is believed to be the first of its kind since three Crimson Sports editors challenged the women’s basketball team to a three-point shooting contest in 1998. That contest ended in a 16-14 victory for the NCAA-bound Crimson ladies.

And far less crowing.

“Objectively speaking, I’d say Dan has a very weak to moderately weak leg,” Blewett said, summing up his archrival. “However, I see room for improvement. If I worked with him 7 days a week, 8 hours a day, for say 9 months, I think Dan would have a fair shot at making the JV squad at BB&N [Cambridge prep school Buckingham Browne & Nichols].”