Gossip Guy!

...This week, Gossip Guy brings you a special edition: Gossip Goy! All goys, only goys. Bacon-eating lies, Jesus-worshipping rumors and Christmas-celebrating innuendo guaranteed...

...Holly T. Vargas ’05 had sex before she was married. So, yep, she’s going to Hell. Her hands and mouth especially...

...William K. Weaver ’98-’03 was so drunk on Saturday, he performed his standard late-night naked Quad run within Weld Hall. Fourteen freshman and two proctors are now legally blind...

...GAY GOY GUY SPECIAL: Jared L. English ’04 is afraid to come out of the closet even though all of his friends already know he’s gay. All of them except his “girlfriend at Vassar,” that is...

...Helena W. August ’04 makes an instant bad impression. “Nice to meet you,” Fred. R. Murray ’04 said to her courteously Thursday night. “Oh yeah, meeting you is a real delight,” August replied. She then poured her drink on Murray’s shirt and walked away, mumbling that he had some nerve...

...It only takes a few drinks to knock Yoko C. Christian ’04 totally off her rocker. “Wooooooo!!!” she yelled at her waiter after having two beers at lunch on Monday at Grafton. “Let’s kiss with our tongues!”...

...After a substance-free summer, Friday night marked a happy and drool-inducing reunion with marijuana for Felix P. Johnson ’03. “I’m just chillin’, you know?” he mused contemplatively. “And that lamp,” he said while pointing at the moon, “it’s totally just chilling too!” Johnson then borrowed a pen so that he could write his insight about the lamp down on his hand...

...Niles H. Vaughn ’04 talked his blockmates into hanging out at the Phoenix after promising them “hos in the basement.” Turns out the basement merely contained Phoenix members, a.k.a asshos...

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