Harvard students are well aware of the countless ways in which our students, education and city are far superior to those of Yale. But as a reminder—and for the benefit of the hapless Elis making their way into beautiful Cambridge this weekend—The Crimson Staff has collected some lesser known, and often under-appreciated, face-offs between Harvard and the clearly inferior institution we call our rival.
Pride of the College:
Harvard: TR, Class of 1880; FDR, Class of 1904; JFK, Class of 1940.
Harvard: 366 years of illustrious intellectual history.
Yale: A lock company.
Every Student Should Have:
Harvard: An understanding of science, literature and the “ways of thinking.”
Yale: A gun.
Harvard: NFL prospect Carl Morris ’03.
Yale: Star? Football?
Harvard: President Summers: Former U.S. Secretary of the Treasury.
Yale: President Levin: “It is to Harvard that the whole world looks for leadership.”
At The Movies:
Harvard: The feature films Legally Blonde, How High and Stealing Harvard—total gross over $125 million.
Yale: An undergraduate porno—totally gross.
The Other HYP School:
Harvard: Princeton goes after our top professors.
Yale: Princeton goes after its admissions data.
Harvard: Going wireless.
Yale: Restricting Kazaa. (Haha, suckers!)
Harvard: In search of more space to expand our Nobel-winning academic juggernaut.
Yale: In search of their hubcaps.
As expected, The Crimson defeats the Bulldogs 9-0.
We predict a similar outcome at the game tomorrow—Yale falling defeated at the feet of the mighty Cantabs. The only difference will be a much larger margin of victory.
Want to visualize second-best? Just look into the Lux.