Love in the Time of Free Samples

This time of year, Harvard Yard is covered in stately snow drifts, and the afternoon light makes the steeple on Mem Church gleam against blue winter skies. Blankets of lights hang above Mass. Ave. like starry spider webs. Harvard students, too smart to study, take their dining hall trays for rides down the steps of Widener.

Yet the women of Harvard College are getting more from Harvard than snatching reverent glances at soft beds of snow and long, thick steeples that penetrate the air. Come wintertime, they’re getting their kicks by giving out free samples—and hell, Harvard men are getting to eat for free. Egg nog, mulled cider, hot cocoa—anything you want, they’ll offer you a taste. In fact, these women are veritable caterers! Bag lunches, pastry assortments—I’ve even learned to make a special nacho cheese dip. As the winter gets colder, Harvard is only beginning to heat up.

Or so says Kenan Professor of Government Harvey C. Mansfield ’53, who gave a talk on students’ sexual mores last week in Eliot House. Mansfield worries that women, by having more sex, are giving out more “free samples” and men are enjoying all of the benefits. As women’s modesty is sacrificed, he argues, men cease to be gentlemen, and women ostensibly become Star Market employees in green aprons, offering customers baby carrots dipped in salad dressing. (Presumably, this only happens in straight couplings; women can’t give out free samples to other women—who would be the caterer and who would be the catered? And who would take care of the kids?)

To Mansfield, there’s not enough “courting, tension and excitement” between the sexes. While Mansfield chastely calls for “yearning,” members of the Coalition Against Sexual Violence (CASV) are rallying for fairness. In a new poster campaign premiering next semester, CASV argues that “yearning” and “excitement” go hand in hand with the kind of informal interactions so frequent these days—especially when these interactions involve consent. One tentative slogan, “Consent is Sexy” gets to the heart of issues of sexual assault on college campuses. Both feminine and masculine “wiles” may be employed by undergrads as they pursue each other, but ultimately, the poster suggests, those involved need to be on the same page. Mansfield confuses a desire for play (flirting, “yearning”), with a desire for “tension.” The former can help foster honest, open interaction; the latter, the kind of unfounded assumptions which sometimes lead to sexual assault.

Alisha Johnson, a member of the CASV Board, points out how rare it is for men to expect consent. “Guys rarely even take the time to find out if a girl is enjoying what’s going on, let alone taking the time to find out if [initially] she actually wants to do something.” The point, basically, is that everyone should be checking up on each other, because sometimes partners can act selfishly. “[Consent shows] that you’re not just thinking about yourself, but also about your partner,” Johnson maintains. This sounds like something a gentleman like Mansfield would approve of.

And yet, “gentlemen” who are completely concerned with their partner’s well-being in the restaurant and at the club are sometimes less conscientious at checking in later in the night. The fallacy in Mansfield’s chivalry is that it is reserved for only certain moments, and in others, pure condescension and arrogance take over. In the transcript of his talk, Mansfield wonders how many assaults happened at Harvard when he was here as an undergraduate. Although I’m willing to bet the actual numbers are shocking, I’m sure Mansfield imagines there were hardly any among Harvard’s “gentlemen.”

Yet Mansfield’s foibles are our own. We, too, assume that there are no perpetrators among us, and that rape could never happen in our own clubs and social spaces. “Rape” and “rapist” are words that we often reserve for certain kinds of assault, like stranger rape, or rape involving screams and bruises. Yet perpetrators rarely have letters on their forehead, “R” for rapist, and date rape sometimes leaves little physical trace. The fact is, rape can be as simple as doing something that was never agreed upon. Frighteningly, this is part of the definition of sex for many Harvard students.

Manfield’s stereotypes aren’t proper theories, they’re sexist fantasies. Many Harvard women are enjoying sex--and pursuing it. What’s more, sexual assault isn’t about “free samples” or women’s morality. It’s about the myth of gentlemanly ethics, and the idea that sex is an act done to a woman, as opposed to something that women can participate in equally with men. At a time when Harvard is just beginning to realize how appallingly common sexual assault is, the Professor is fretting about women’s chastity! In his closing remarks, Mansfield said that he could see more “equality” in today’s youthful interactions. No one’s against a little more equality. But the Professor thinks that equality should be sacrificed in the name of romance, and women’s sexual life should be heavily curbed to prevent assault. I don’t know about anyone else, but equality, consent, and sexual freedom are my favorite grocery store items. Perhaps Professor Mansfield missed that aisle, fixated as he was on the baby carrots and salad dressing.

Beccah G. Watson ’04 is a history and literature concentrator in Adams House. Her column appears on alternate Fridays.