Emily M. Kaplan '05
Hometown: New York City
Extracurricular pursuits: None
Ideal date: Anything involving sweatpants and amazing movies from the 1980s.
Ideal mate: Ryan, the firefighter poet from ABC’s “The Bachelorette.”
Your sexiest physical trait: My voluptuous breasts.
Best way for a guy/girl to get your attention: Bad dancers are always strangely cute.
Where to find you on a Saturday night: At a bar, most likely embarrassing myself.
First thing you notice about a guy/girl: Personality?
Your best pickup line: Nice bum, where you from?
Most memorable pickup line a guy/girl has ever used on you: “Hey, wanna go make out in the Spee phone booth?”
Favorite thing about Harvard: The Spee phone booth.
Most important thing you’ve learned at Harvard so far: In Expos: There is no word in the English language that rhymes with “month.”
Sketchiest moment at Harvard: When Lowell Thomas ’05 found out where we kept our key freshman year and climbed into my roommate’s empty bed, threw his boxers at me and passed out.
One thing you must do before graduation: Primal scream.
Describe yourself in three words: Boo-ty-licious.
In 15 minutes you are: Taking a cab from the Square to Currier.
In 15 years you are: Living on a beach somewhere and being fabulous.
What are you hoping will happen on this date? I hope that I meet a super dreamy boy.
What are you worried will happen on this date? I’m worried it will be like that show “Star Dates,” where the girls think they’re being set up with Brad Pitt, but it’s really Gary Coleman or that little batboy from “The Munsters.”
Jordan A.A. Bar Am '04
House: Dudley Co-op
Concentration: Near Eastern Languages and Civilizations
Hometown: Maplewood, New Jersey
Extracurricular pursuits: Fair Trade, cooperative living, UC.
Ideal date: Good food, good fun.
Ideal mate: Wouldn’t I like to know.
Your sexiest physical trait: My ankles.
Best way for a guy/girl to get your attention: Talking to me is a good start.
Where to find you on a Saturday night: Probably 3 Sacramento Street.
First thing you notice about a guy/girl: Their appearance? I don’t know.
Your best pickup line: “Hi.”
The most memorable pickup line a guy/girl has ever used on you: I’m too clueless to know if a girl is hitting on me.
Favorite thing about Harvard: The people.
Most important thing you’ve learned at Harvard so far: To be conscious about the assumptions under which I operate.
Sketchiest moment at Harvard: It would be hard to pick just one.
One thing you must do before graduation: I would love to see Martin Feldstein read a book to a bunch of small children.
Describe yourself in three words: Jordan Bar Am.
In 15 minutes you are: In the shower.
In 15 years you are: Living somewhere beautiful.
What are you hoping will happen on this date? To meet somebody new and have a nice time.
What are you worried will happen on this date? I’m not too worried.