Minutes of the first night of the 2003 Senior Bar: 180

Minutes spent, on average, by freshman year entryway-mates in awkward catch-up exchanges: 3

Minutes it took two Thai men to swallow $6000 worth of precious gems in ten condoms in an attempt to smuggle them out of the country last week: 5

Minutes Thai customs officials had to wait after arresting the thieves before the gems “resurfaced”: 360

Minutes (combined) that the Winthrop, Currier and Cabot House masters have served: 15,768,000

Minutes that the longest serving house master in Harvard history, John H. Finley ’25, presided over Eliot House: 14, 152,320

Minutes that Ben Curtis (a.k.a “The Dell Dude”) spent in a Manhattan jail after being arrested for possession of marijuana earlier this month: 960

Minutes since the Dell Corporation cancelled Curtis’s contract: 14,211

Minutes since the doors of the Spee first opened: 78,969, 600

Minutes since the doors of the Spee last opened: 37,440

Minutes that John Ramer has to pay a $5,981,104.02 tax bill assessed against this year by the IRS: 60,480.

Minutes that John Ramer has been unemployed and homeless: 4,193,280

Minutes since the residents of Mather, Quincy, Dunster, Cabot, Currier, Eliot, Leverett, Winthrop, Lowell and Kirkland Houses lost the right to eat in the Adams House dining hall: 7,280

Minutes since 3 intrepid Pfoho residents stole the Adams dining hall gong and used its return as leverage to win eternal interhouse rights in Adams House: 1,622,880

Minutes since the members of the Class of 2003 first began their Harvard careers: 1,788,480

Minutes until the members of the Class of 2003 will end their Harvard careers: 141,120