Facts and Myths About...
Myth: Mollie hates all of humanity; that’s why her shoes are so pointy.
Fact: Mollie just hates you. But she loves shoes too much to make them an instrument of her violent wrath.
Myth: Mollie single-handedly makes this magazine come out every week. Without her, the piece of paper you’re holding would either not exist or self-destruct in 60 seconds.
Fact: Sometimes we get her coffee.
EDITOR: Sarah M. Seltzer
Myth: Sarah spends all of her time day-dreaming about being the Yoko to her bf’s John.
Fact: Sarah is the Yoko to her bf’s John. Duh!
Myth: Sarah has a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face because she really loves life, loves you and loves the world.
Fact: You probably just said something stupid.
PROOFER: David B. Rochelson
Myth: Dave is a really nice guy who would never laugh at you when your computer crashed and destroyed all the hard work you had just accomplished.
Fact: Dave totally would. He just did it two seconds ago. What a punk!
ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Jason D. Park
Myth: Jason is an FM associate.
Fact: Jason was.
ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Jannie S. Tsuei
Myth: Jannie sometimes sleeps.
Fact: Even in the depths of Stillman Infirmary, battling pneumonia and a 104-degree temperature, Jannie stayed up to mentally review the middle initials of each and every FM comper.
ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Elizabeth W. Green
Myth: It’s a-OK to call Elizabeth “Liz,” “Lizzie” or “Shiz-a-Liz.”
Fact: None have lived to tell the tale.
Myth: Elizabeth once hugged Gladden J. Pappin ’04.
Fact: She tried, but he was repulsed by her liberal sensibilities and acceptance of radical behaviors like consumating sexual relations before entering into the hallowed marriage sacrament.
ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Veronique H. Hyland
Myth: Véronique is a mild-mannered VES concentrator in Leverett House with a unique fashion sense and a biting wit.
Fact: Better known as “Madame Veronica,” Véronique is actually a part-time flash dancer, part-time brothel owner masquerading as a mild-mannered VES concentrator in Leverett House with a unique fashion sense and a biting wit. Her documentary film, “How I Pretended To Be a Mild-Mannered Harvard Student, Even Though I’m Actually a Sex Fiend,” will premier on Bravo! at 5 a.m. next Wednesday.
ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Kristi L. Jobson
Myth: Kristi is a member of every organization on campus.
Fact: Her application to the Celtic Club is still pending.
Myth: Kristi has never been single.
Fact: For a few seconds last Thursday, Kristi’s facebook.com profile listed her as “single” due to a programming glitch. After pacifying her boyfriend, placing calls to family and friends urging them not to jump to drastic conclusions and sending a mass e-mail to members of The Seneca, who had already begun stockpiling Kleenex and bee-lining it to Lowell, Kristi sent a politely irate e-mail to Mark Zuckerberg and the error was promptly corrected.