Facts and Myths About...

Myth: Mollie hates all of humanity; that’s why her shoes are so pointy.

Fact: Mollie just hates you. But she loves shoes too much to make them an instrument of her violent wrath.

Myth: Mollie single-handedly makes this magazine come out every week. Without her, the piece of paper you’re holding would either not exist or self-destruct in 60 seconds.

Fact: Sometimes we get her coffee.

EDITOR: Sarah M. Seltzer

Myth: Sarah spends all of her time day-dreaming about being the Yoko to her bf’s John.

Fact: Sarah is the Yoko to her bf’s John. Duh!

Myth: Sarah has a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face because she really loves life, loves you and loves the world.

Fact: You probably just said something stupid.

PROOFER: David B. Rochelson

Myth: Dave is a really nice guy who would never laugh at you when your computer crashed and destroyed all the hard work you had just accomplished.

Fact: Dave totally would. He just did it two seconds ago. What a punk!

ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Jason D. Park

Myth: Jason is an FM associate.

Fact: Jason was.

ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Jannie S. Tsuei

Myth: Jannie sometimes sleeps.

Fact: Even in the depths of Stillman Infirmary, battling pneumonia and a 104-degree temperature, Jannie stayed up to mentally review the middle initials of each and every FM comper.

ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Elizabeth W. Green

Myth: It’s a-OK to call Elizabeth “Liz,” “Lizzie” or “Shiz-a-Liz.”

Fact: None have lived to tell the tale.

Myth: Elizabeth once hugged Gladden J. Pappin ’04.

Fact: She tried, but he was repulsed by her liberal sensibilities and acceptance of radical behaviors like consumating sexual relations before entering into the hallowed marriage sacrament.

ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Veronique H. Hyland

Myth: Véronique is a mild-mannered VES concentrator in Leverett House with a unique fashion sense and a biting wit.

Fact: Better known as “Madame Veronica,” Véronique is actually a part-time flash dancer, part-time brothel owner masquerading as a mild-mannered VES concentrator in Leverett House with a unique fashion sense and a biting wit. Her documentary film, “How I Pretended To Be a Mild-Mannered Harvard Student, Even Though I’m Actually a Sex Fiend,” will premier on Bravo! at 5 a.m. next Wednesday.

ASSOCIATE EDITOR: Kristi L. Jobson

Myth: Kristi is a member of every organization on campus.

Fact: Her application to the Celtic Club is still pending.

Myth: Kristi has never been single.

Fact: For a few seconds last Thursday, Kristi’s facebook.com profile listed her as “single” due to a programming glitch. After pacifying her boyfriend, placing calls to family and friends urging them not to jump to drastic conclusions and sending a mass e-mail to members of The Seneca, who had already begun stockpiling Kleenex and bee-lining it to Lowell, Kristi sent a politely irate e-mail to Mark Zuckerberg and the error was promptly corrected.