When FM looks at the class of 2008, we see “our newest comp class.” We see “new life for Harvard.” We see “bodies that we should probably immediately objectify into pieces of meat and, failing that, pieces of art.”
In that spirit, we present the 15 freshmen whom our painstakingly-scientific research indicates are the hottest members of their class. Because it was deemed infeasible to take them all to the butcher’s shop featured on our cover—something about “tasteless” and “really gross”—we took them to the Fogg and Arthur M. Sackler museums instead. There, it was pretty clear that humans don’t just make art. They are art. Just because we don’t tend to call Greco-Roman sculpture “hot” doesn’t mean we shouldn’t call freshmen “exquisitely crafted.”
What does it mean to be hot? What does it mean to be one of the 15 hottest? We have absolutely no idea, except that these eight women and seven men look a lot more like beautiful sculptures than they do cow carcasses.
Funny, the things you learn at the Fogg.
Hope A. Jones
Hometown: Alexandria, Va.
Relationship Status: Taken
3 words to describe yourself: Fun-loving, Enthusiastic, Caring
Your hottest trait: My hair
Article of clothing you can’t live without: My Ugg Boots (it’s like wearing slippers everywhere!)
Ideal significant other: Tall, blonde and blue-eyed sounds good...but in terms of a relationship, I need someone who can really make me laugh, someone who makes me feel comfortable enough to be however and whoever I want to be.
Claim to Harvard Fame: LAX LAX LAX LAX
Most Embarrassing Harvard Moment: Two Words: Primal Scream. I didn’t participate, but I’ve never felt so embarrassed.
Favorite Work of Art: Michaelangelo’s David, haha...oh, you’re serious?
Bryan C. Barnhill II
Hometown: Detroit, Mich.
Relationship Status: Taken. Sorry, ladies.
Three words to describe yourself: Introspective, Genuine, Anomalous
Your hottest trait: Eloquence
Article of clothing you can’t live without: Du-rag and FAM Inc. Button-Ups (coming to a store near you)
Ideal significant other: Natasha S. Alford ’08
Claim to Harvard Fame: Jada Pinkett Smith’s vocalized admiration of my body at the Cultural Rhythm’s show
Most Embarrassing Harvard Moment: Being “hoed” on an e-mail list
Favorite Work of Art: Any type of oratory delivered so eloquently that the words spoken burrow themselves into the hearts and minds of the listener, become actualized, and the actualization is made evident by a change in thinking and behavior.
Hometown: Los Angeles, Calif.
Relationship Status: Taken
3 words to describe yourself: Determined, Organized, Compassionate
Your hottest trait: Being Latina blessed me with a year long tan
Article of clothing you can’t live without: The crimson scarf my mother made me
Ideal significant other: Martin Conde
Claim to Harvard Fame: If you are asking why I am “famous” at Harvard, my answer is Latinos at Harvard.
Most Embarrassing Harvard Moment: Falling on the ice. I happened to land in an ice lagoon which meant that my butt was soaked and it looked like I had not made it to the bathroom.
Favorite Work of Art: The Flower Carrier by Diego Rivera