The 15 Hottest Freshmen

Eight women. Seven men. Try not to drool.

C. ALEXANDER Guth

Hope A. Jones

When Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences William C. Kirby stood on a podium in Tercentary Theater and looked at the Class of 2008 last September, he said he saw before him “our newest students.” He saw “new life for Harvard.” He saw “many of the most promising minds of your generation.”

When FM looks at the class of 2008, we see “our newest comp class.” We see “new life for Harvard.” We see “bodies that we should probably immediately objectify into pieces of meat and, failing that, pieces of art.”

In that spirit, we present the 15 freshmen whom our painstakingly-scientific research indicates are the hottest members of their class. Because it was deemed infeasible to take them all to the butcher’s shop featured on our cover—something about “tasteless” and “really gross”—we took them to the Fogg and Arthur M. Sackler museums instead. There, it was pretty clear that humans don’t just make art. They are art. Just because we don’t tend to call Greco-Roman sculpture “hot” doesn’t mean we shouldn’t call freshmen “exquisitely crafted.”

What does it mean to be hot? What does it mean to be one of the 15 hottest? We have absolutely no idea, except that these eight women and seven men look a lot more like beautiful sculptures than they do cow carcasses.

Funny, the things you learn at the Fogg.

Hope A. Jones

Multimedia

Dorm: Holworthy

Hometown: Alexandria, Va.

Relationship Status: Taken

3 words to describe yourself: Fun-loving, Enthusiastic, Caring

Your hottest trait: My hair

Article of clothing you can’t live without: My Ugg Boots (it’s like wearing slippers everywhere!)

Ideal significant other: Tall, blonde and blue-eyed sounds good...but in terms of a relationship, I need someone who can really make me laugh, someone who makes me feel comfortable enough to be however and whoever I want to be.

Claim to Harvard Fame: LAX LAX LAX LAX

Most Embarrassing Harvard Moment: Two Words: Primal Scream. I didn’t participate, but I’ve never felt so embarrassed.

Favorite Work of Art: Michaelangelo’s David, haha...oh, you’re serious?