The Best Part of the Movie

Al Franken: God Spoke

TRAILER TRASH

Oh, Jesus H. Christ on a crutch. Disgusting. “No reason for the movie to exist” was my thought during most of the trailer, and then the bomb gets dropped. I can’t even believe that this happens, but the penultimate shot of the trailer is Al telling a crowd that he’s thinking of running for office in 2008. So, the country is subjected to a movie that’s just a campaign ad? Gag me with three spoons.


Saw III

TRAILER TRASH

Oh, go to hell, “Saw III.” The stupid trailer assumes that we’ve seen the first two installments of the franchise, spewing out inane narration-drivel about how “YOU’VE SEEN HIS HORROR. YOU’VE SEEN HIM WORK. NOW, SEE HIS LEGEND GROW” and so on. Who the hell is “he?” Is his name Mr. Saw? I have no idea. I have to believe that the deep-throated horror-narrator guy that they have for every such trailer is just sick of promoting these “Saw” offspring. Didn’t the second one just come out like a few months ago?


Deck the Halls

CELLULOID GOLD

I mean, this movie’s probably going to be awful, but the trailer is really shocking. In two short minutes, we get an incest joke, a premise prominently involving Google Earth™, and a shot of Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick naked in a sleeping bag together. My nether regions are pretty stoked about this trailer.

—Abe J. Riesman