Beryl C.D. Lipton

Recent years have been all about the comeback act. 2007 saw the return of the Spice Girls and Led Zeppelin. As the year comes to a close, it’s time for us to consider the possibilities for the future and then brace ourselves. Here are five acts that shouldn’t come back in ’08:



5. ’N Sync

The Backstreet Boys released a new album. The Spice Girls launched a reunion tour. If nature runs its course—and Jive Records files a lawsuit for the two records left on the group’s five-record contract—it won’t be long before this boy band puts their dancing shoes back on and hits the road again. Our only hope is that JT is too busy wishing bad karma on ex-girlfriends and bringing sexy back.



4. “The Land Before Time”

“The Land Before Time XIII: The Wisdom of Friends” came out less than a month ago. But with the original adventure of Little Foot, Ducky, and the rest of the gang hitting their 20-year anniversary in 2008, it seems almost inevitable that there will be another sequel in the works to celebrate the most unnecessary use of spin-off in the history of animated feature films.



3. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

They got their start playing the same person on “Full House” and built a multi-million dollar empire based on the fact that they were twins. But as they entered adulthood, the twin duo decided to go their separate ways and pursue their own interests. Now going by the individual identities of Ashley Olsen and Mary-Kate Olsen, it’s possible to see the same lovely face on more magazine covers than ever before. Hopefully, they’ll be successful enough in maintaining distinctive lives that they won’t have to revert back to exploiting their sisterhood.



2. The Rolling Stones

Rumors have been circulation about another tour in ’08. Nothing’s been officially confirmed yet, and with any luck, Mick Jagger will stop trying to prove that he’s aged gracefully.



1. The Messiah

It’s always a possibility, but we’re going to have enough else to worry about in 2008.

—Beryl C. D. Lipton ’10 is one of two incoming Campus Arts editors.