A Look at the Late Night Shuttle

Quadlings, Rejoice! The Shuttle is now operating all night long—but exactly how safe is the trip down Mass Ave during the witching hours? FM decided to save everyone the trouble of testing the midnight ride by sending in our own hard-hitting investigator.

3:08 AM—After about fourteen consecutive hours of Facebooking, guzzling energy drinks, and crafting origami from my Gov notes, I decide to hit the road. I get another Red Bull from the vending machine, grab my passport and head for the Quad.

3:13 AM—I’m standing at Boylston Gate, waiting for the welcoming yet disheartening “Reading Period” sign to radiate from an approaching shuttle.

3:28 AM—I think I just saw a tumbleweed drift down deserted Mass Ave (too much Oregon Trail?). I swear that the schedule said there was one at 3:15.

3:35 AM—I just saw lights on Mass Ave. It must finally be here! Wait, it’s not slowing down. What the hell!? I start sprinting down the street, praying the shuttle’s headlights shine on my flailing arms.

3:36 AM—My bad. That wasn’t a Harvard shuttle. Or even a bus. It was the Boston Herald delivery truck. I slowly lower my middle fingers and hope the driver’s window wasn’t down.

3:42 AM—At last, I stagger up the steps and plop down near the shuttle’s sole other passenger, a nicely-coiffed young brunette, tennis shoes in hand for tomorrow’s walk of shame. The four a.m. Quad booty-call: a freshman mistake.

3:48 AM—The other passenger on the shuttle disembarks at the Quad and I see the driver’s stare in the rearview mirror as I cozy up and prepare for the return. Nonstop round-trips must not be common.

4:09 AM—My jaunt on the shuttle comes to an end as we pull into Lamont. I thank the driver, take my last few breaths of fresh air, plug my nose, cover up any exposed wounds, and enter Lamont’s filthy stank.