Kirkland Secret Santa Week Rages Forth

Out with Thanksgiving and in with Christmas, the holiday season is here! As Harvard students flock back to campus with full stomachs and stressful schedules, one house takes the Christmukkah spirit to a new level.

As one of the smallest houses on campus, Kirkland prides itself on its strong community, but after a semester’s worth of Masters' Desserts with the Conleys and countless emails from the overactive house list, the time has come for the most unique Kirkland experience—Secret Santa week.

“More than anything else Secret Santa week is the initiation for sophomores and new members of the house to truly become part of Kirkland,” says HoCo chair Brad M. Paraszczak ’11.

For one week, Kirkland residents find themselves secretly doting and being doted upon, waking up to hot breakfast in bed, returning to their rooms to find their suite transformed into a winter wonderland, or bumping into a house “crush” waiting for them with a bottle of champagne and freshly baked cookies. And that’s just the private stuff. More after the jump.

Editor's Note:The author is a resident of Kirland House, a fact not originally disclosed in this post.

Kirkland Dining hall will transform into a musical theatre and chapel at once, complete with skits, serenades, fake marriages, and a few romantic dinners sprinkled here and there.

“I got married to my roommate for one of our friends who said we were always together so we might as well be married,” said Paraszczak. “There’s always someone who requests a lap dance or a strip tease but they’re not specific so what they want always turns into five guys and they blindfold the one—that actually happened to me last year.”

If the merriment of the week doesn’t tire everyone out, Kirklanders will conclude with the annual Holiday Dinner and Dance, less formally known as “Incestfest.” Bringing out-of-house lovers? Highly discouraged. Making out with that house crush you’ve had your eye on? Highly encouraged.

With over 50% of the House participating and a whole extra day of dining hall skits, Kirkland should be high on holiday cheer. With the "Single Ladies" dance being so 2008, however, the floor is open for the next big thing. What will it be? You’ll have to check back to find out.

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