Costumes in the Closet

Light blue shorts-jumpsuit? Check. Pleather lined clear visor? Check. Bright green plaid skirt? Check. Halloween is a month and a
By Charleton A. Lamb

Light blue shorts-jumpsuit? Check. Pleather lined clear visor? Check. Bright green plaid skirt? Check. Halloween is a month and a half away, but I’ll be wearing this stuff to class on Monday. I can see you silently judging me as I walk—strut—through Lamont cafe, but I know I’m not the only one. Party costumes work their way into the front of your closet, and before you know it you’re wearing a koala head hat just because it’s cold outside.

The costume as clothing isn’t just a great idea for a special exhibition at The Met (I hope you’re reading this, Anna), is also the hottest trend for this year. As determined by me. Because I can’t be the only one on this campus dressing like Heidi Klum just told me “auf Wiedersehen.” On your next trip to Oona’s—mine are weekly—think about your future party pics in a boring lecture hall, not a sweaty dining hall.

A fair warning: not all parties lend themselves to daily wardrobe. No one in your English class signed up for Leather and Lace and Literature. And art history would probably be more interesting in a toga, but unless you look like David under that sheet, don’t try to pull it off. And I’m talking Michelangelo’s David, not Donatello’s. Apart from these guidelines, your closet is like Moral Reasoning 54—all is permitted.

This is not, however, an endorsement of the opposite trend: wearing normal clothing to costume parties. If you can go to a Goldman interview in the same outfit you wear to a costume party, then you should know that you are a buzzkill and nobody likes you.

I could tell you a story about the kid who did dress up for Heaven and Hell and then went to a Goldman interview in the same outfit. He doesn’t work at Goldman, but it’s a really funny story though.

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