Valentine’s Day Decoded

Grace Sun

With Valentine’s Day only three days away and Christmas just two months past, most couples are probably starting to feel the gift­­‑buying pressure once again. In case you’re unsure of what to buy your boo or just want to know what your lover’s present really means after the fact, FM has gone ahead and done the decoding for you.

Here’s what to think if they get you...

Chocolates: They’re obviously not worried about your weight, but probably wouldn’t mind if you headed to the gym after polishing off the whole box. We’re just hoping they didn’t merely dodge into CVS at the last minute before heading over to your room.

Sex toys: A tad self‑centered. They definitely want you to share.

Collage of pictures of the two of you: A bit intense. Hopefully your roommates won’t mind if your boyfriend/girlfriend insists on it being prominently displayed in the common room; be especially wary if you’ve only been dating a month.

Jewelry: Easy fallback option for the more serious couples out there, but can be difficult to pick out; hopefully it’s not the same bracelet/pair of earrings they’ve bought for their past three girlfriends. Also be wary if you’ve been dating a month and they bring you back something from Tiffany’s.

Dinner: Anything beyond the d-hall shows effort and if you had to hop on the T to get there, be impressed.

Lingerie: Potentially awkward if they got the wrong size. Again, they’ve really just bought themselves a present with this one.

Roses: This could either be really sweet or might mean that they couldn’t remember your favorite kind of flowers and didn’t feel like searching through Brattle Square Florist to find the right ones.

Love poem: If they’re an OEB concentrator, they probably didn’t write it. If they’re an English concentrator, they probably wrote it last year for a class.

An e-mail: At least they remembered, but we advise you to look elsewhere for love.

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