Google Buzz: Hate It

Facebook. Gmail. Facebook. Gmail. Facebook. My.harvard.edu? Gmail.

This is what my browser history typically looks like the night before a paper is due. Or anytime, honestly.

You know the story: it’s 2 a.m., and you’re trying to finish that paper due tomorrow. Or start it. Whatever. Doesn’t matter—you’ll be on Facebook, probably experiencing that gnawing “go-do-something-with-yourself-already!” feeling. But that doesn’t mean you’ll stop clicking links until you somehow end up looking at photo 154 of 835 of you-aren’t-actually-sure-who. Or maybe now you’ll be Buzzing.

I used to feel like I was doing something at least marginally constructive during my Gmail breaks from Facebook. In fact, I still remember that renewed sense of control and eagerness I felt the moment I got my Gmail account 14 months ago—that new school supply high (what, this doesn’t happen to you?).

My inbox is meticulously organized with about 18 of those color-coded labels, and ridiculously long threads are contained within a single line. I won’t lie—looking at an inbox devoid of unread and unclassified messages gives me a small (okay, large) sense of accomplishment. But now with Google Buzz weaseling its way in right under my inbox, I’m getting nervous about social networking paralysis extending to my Gmail life, too.

I’m not so concerned about the privacy issues bloggers have been ranting about—“what if my husband/boss/TF sees that I’ve been sending enough emails to automatically follow my ex/competitor company/that cute boy in section?”—because, despite what you may think after reading the above, I’m actually not too lazy to just edit the settings. And I also know that technically I could just remove Buzz from my Gmail page.

But really, do you think I will? My browser history indicates it’s much more likely that “buzzes” (is this a term yet?) will be joining the ranks of outdated photos and Facebook homepage refreshes that currently dominate my Internet usage. Google Buzz, I’d like you to apologize to my GPA in advance.