The Conventionally Unconventional Holiday Gift Guide

Are you sick of watching people open your gifts and immediately search for the receipt?
By Leslie B. Arffa

Are you sick of watching people open your gifts and immediately search for the receipt? Tired of hearing “um ... what is this?” in response to a “creative” present? Worry no more, FM has the solution to your holiday doldrums and foolproof suggestions for every person on your list.

Grandmother

Conventional:

Sweater—$68-$108, Ann Taylor

A great thank you gift for all of the sweet care packages grandma has been sending you. What better way to say “I love you” than with dry-clean-only cashmere?

Unconventional:

An empty cardboard box with a pre-addressed label for your dorm—$5, FedEx

It’s hard to get all that packaging together. You’re saving grandma time and money.

Brother

Conventional:

Video Game—$40, Best Buy

Don’t worry if you don’t know anything about video games. Simply pick out whichever game has the most guns and/or footballs on the cover.

Unconventional: Educational video (Think “Schoolhouse Rock”)—$30, also Best Buy

Preferably one that relates to a class that you’re taking. He gets to watch a movie and help you with your work. It’s a win-win.

Blockmates

Conventional:

Necklace—$18-$30, Urban Outfitters

Nothing says, “I’m glad we blocked together,” like some holiday bling.

Unconventional: Housemaster email addresses—free, Harvard directory

Nothing says, “We need to transfer out of the Quad together,” like the personal information of administrators in high places.

Roommates

Conventional: Headphones—$60, www.skullcandy.com

For all the loud music he/she is always playing when you’re trying to finish a problem set or start your thesis.

Unconventional:

The Holy Bible: King James Version—$13, www.amazon.com

This gift sends the “Stop sexiling me!” message loud and clear.

Significant other (Boyfriend, girlfriend, or “We don’t believe in labels,” person)

Conventional:

Scarf—$19-$40, American Apparel

Keep it casual with the least intimate of the accessory options.

Unconventional:

Timex Extra Loud Alarm Clock—$10, Radio Shack

Maybe it’s time to put a label on the relationship.

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