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FM Imagines: Jill Stein’s Green Party on Election Night

Wikimedia Commons

Jill E. Stein '73 turns off her radio and climbs down from her headquarters. The treehouse behind her, she knocks on the back door of a Toyota Prius.

-Cheri, have we won yet?

-Well, Jill, um, I've, um, been checking. [She quickly opens her computer.] It's close—the Republicans and Democrats are neck and neck.

-And the Green Party? How is the Green Party doing?

-Well, Jill, we don't have any electoral votes. Not that we expected any. This is probably not our year.

-Not even one?

-No. We almost got three percent of the vote in Rhode Island, though. If only more of the environmentally-conscious pacifists who like taxes got out to vote today. That would have done the trick.

-Next time, Cheri. Next time.

-Yes, we will run again. As Nader has shown, the race never ends.

-I can see it now. Jill Stein 2016: The President of the Future. My tagline: ‘It's okay, I’m a doctor.’

-You used that one this time around.

-Whatever. It's really good. Let's get out of here.

[Cheri begins to start the car.]

-Stop! Drive? We can’t use gas. We will stand true to our party. [She motions to a horse-drawn carriage behind them.]

-Naturally. But where are we going?

-Well, it's like when we fought to get into the debates—

-But didn't we get arrested?

-We're going to take the White House by storm. We're going to do what’s right for America.

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