FM Imagines: Jill Stein’s Green Party on Election Night

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Jill E. Stein '73 turns off her radio and climbs down from her headquarters. The treehouse behind her, she knocks on the back door of a Toyota Prius.

-Cheri, have we won yet?

-Well, Jill, um, I've, um, been checking. [She quickly opens her computer.] It's close—the Republicans and Democrats are neck and neck.

-And the Green Party? How is the Green Party doing?

-Well, Jill, we don't have any electoral votes. Not that we expected any. This is probably not our year.

-Not even one?

-No. We almost got three percent of the vote in Rhode Island, though. If only more of the environmentally-conscious pacifists who like taxes got out to vote today. That would have done the trick.

-Next time, Cheri. Next time.

-Yes, we will run again. As Nader has shown, the race never ends.

-I can see it now. Jill Stein 2016: The President of the Future. My tagline: ‘It's okay, I’m a doctor.’

-You used that one this time around.

-Whatever. It's really good. Let's get out of here.

[Cheri begins to start the car.]

-Stop! Drive? We can’t use gas. We will stand true to our party. [She motions to a horse-drawn carriage behind them.]

-Naturally. But where are we going?

-Well, it's like when we fought to get into the debates—

-But didn't we get arrested?

-We're going to take the White House by storm. We're going to do what’s right for America.