Humorous Subplots From the Crimson's 69-0 Victory

Football v. Columbia
Mark Kelsey

Football v. Columbia

The Harvard football team's 69-0 victory over the Columbia Lions wasn't pretty. Harvard pulled many of its best players after the half and, in the fourth quarter, played fourth-string running back Damani K. Wilson '14. He ran for 121 yards and two touchdowns. However, among the carnage lie plenty of humorous subplots.

1. Every football game, Harvard cheerleaders do pushups equal to the number of points the Crimson has after every score. On Saturday, they did 339 pushups—Flyby suspects they got a better workout than the Columbia offense and put forth more effort than the Columbia defense.

2. It was only at the beginning of this year that Columbia equated Harvard to the "bad guy" of the Ivy League, comparing the Crimson to Lord Voldemort and the Joker. But, Flyby wonders, shouldn't a nemesis at least be competitive?

3. The maligned Lions, a favorite punching bag of Crimson executive Alexander Koenig, have been the subject of continued jibes by The Crimson's sporting staff (notably here and here). Columbia's newspaper responded to Koenig's attacks viciously, but Koenig has the last laugh here.

4. To say that Columbia sucked is juvenile, but swallowing the sour taste of losing by 69 could not have been easy.

5. One last thing to keep in mind: Columbia beat Yale last weekend. Flyby is looking forward to The Game.

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