The Apocalypse Is Approaching!

Tarik Adnan Moon

An Eliot House resident tries to connect to Facebook on his phone on Thursday. The afternoon blackout caused many to turn to their smartphones for Internet.

The Mayan calendar predicts that the world will end on December 21, 2012. Based on these five catastrophic events, it seems like even the Harvard bubble won't protect us from the demise of life as we know it.

1. An earthquake struck Harvard in October, reaching a 4.0 on the Richter scale. Apparently, mother nature forgot that we are in Massachusetts, where earthquakes just don't happen.

2. For the first time in 34 years, Harvard cancelled classes for a snow day in what must have been "An Act of God." The world must be ending if students miss Monday morning lecture – but that's okay.

3. The freak power outage on Thursday is the ultimate proof that the Apocalpyse is arriving. Most Harvard students probably thought the world did end when the Internet shut down.

4. By the end of December, experts estimate that the Gangnam style music video on YouTube will have reached over 1 billion views. PSY might be single-handedly responsible for destroying earth.

5. Although it only occurred for a brief period, there was a point in November when hell actually froze temporarily: the Yale football team had scored more points than our team during The Game. Such horror can only mean one thing: the world is ending.

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